Choose to live differently

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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.

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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure

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to be talking with you today.

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Today I'm talking about a topic that I find

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to be very important and very serious.

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And it's about why you must choose to live differently.

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And I think it's so important

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that I actually say why you must.

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And I feel very strongly about it.

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And I just wanna let you know upfront

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that perhaps this is a little biased,

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but I hope that you'll take some time and listen

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and see for yourself how much you agree or disagree.

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And I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions as well.

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But yes, I'm talking about why you must choose

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to live differently.

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One of the reasons that I share this is because

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when I started my faculty career

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and I was very, very big on moving forward into research,

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what I didn't realize is that it's not the norm

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for clinicians to do research.

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And it's not the norm because we spent a ton of time

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doing clinical training.

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And although people say, well,

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every clinician should be doing research

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or should be doing some type of scholarship,

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they're not really saying clinicians

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should be leading research programs.

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And if they're seeing that,

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there's a lot of what I should say

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is lack of support for that idea.

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And so just because people say

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we support clinicians doing research,

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the real question is, is there a show of support?

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And as I came through on my journey,

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I didn't have support.

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I didn't realize I didn't have support.

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I didn't realize what was needed

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to build a research career.

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And that is financial support,

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institutional support, and mentoring support.

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There are all kinds of support to really get someone

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to really succeed as a researcher.

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Now, don't get me wrong,

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clinicians have a lot of support.

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They have a lot of support to do their clinical work

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to a great extent,

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but not so much support to do research.

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And so even when institutions say,

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well, we want our clinicians to do researchers,

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when they don't supply them with the time

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to do the research,

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it's actually the same as if you were saying,

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I don't support you,

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except you say I support you,

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but then you don't give people the support they need.

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And when I started, I thought,

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oh, okay, maybe this was unique to me.

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But now that I look around,

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I realized that this is the norm.

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And more often than not,

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clinicians are not supported to lead research.

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And it makes sense because, say,

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clinicians, they're trained to do patient care,

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and patient care and research are not the same thing.

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They are very, very different.

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And so then any clinician that says,

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well, I want to lead a research program,

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is really doing things differently,

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is really saying, I want to choose to live differently.

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And living differently is challenging.

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And I'm gonna talk a little bit about the challenges

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of living differently,

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but why you must take on the challenge

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of living differently.

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And I'm talking to clinicians who are growing as scientists

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and also bucking the trend to a great extent,

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because if you are going to live out a career

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that is fulfilling,

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you're gonna do what's not status quo,

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because status quo is fine.

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I mean, status quo is fine,

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except that there's more.

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And if we've already seen something,

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then we desire something new,

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something better, something greater.

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And so if, for whatever reason,

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we're able to help patients control their blood sugars,

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we know that we can do more.

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How much more can we improve on diabetes care, right?

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And so it's one thing to see patients clinically,

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it's another thing to say, well,

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what's the next frontier

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in terms of the fight against diabetes?

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How do we make things better?

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And so living differently really does mean

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rejecting the status quo,

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but that's the space,

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that's a place in which we get to fulfillment, absolutely.

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And as clinicians and people

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who've gone through clinical training,

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we've fought or to some extent,

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we've transformed all along our journey, right?

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We started as medical students

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and we transformed on the journey to become interns.

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We transformed from interns to residents.

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We transformed from residents to faculty members

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and the transformation has to continue.

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Because when it doesn't,

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then we feel stagnant and stuck

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because for at least 10 years or more of our experience,

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we've transformed every few years.

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And so transformation is part of our physician experience,

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but staying the same

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sometimes is the expectation of our environment.

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And if we're going to thrive,

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if we're going to do things,

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if we're gonna have a successful and fulfilling career,

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we do need to choose to do things differently.

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Okay, so I wanna just talk about seven things

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that you should think about about living differently.

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Okay, so the first thing I wanna talk about

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is the fact that we live in a cultural milieu.

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We live in our own culture,

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we're surrounded by culture.

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And whether we accept what the culture,

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whether we accept the norms of the culture or not,

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we are kind of subject to or bound by the culture

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in some way, shape or form.

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And culture has been said to be like a conversation

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between two fish and one fish asks,

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well, how's the water?

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And the other fish is like, water, what water?

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And it's the obliviousness to what defines

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our very environment.

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It's like the culture is everything around us

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that we take for granted.

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The way we have expectations for how news is consumed,

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how presidential elections are run,

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how we interact with legislators, how lawyers behave,

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how children are educated, right?

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There's a cultural expectation

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that many times we don't think about.

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As clinicians, there's a cultural expectation

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for how clinicians show up.

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For PhD scientists, there's a cultural expectation,

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depending on where you are in your career,

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there's a cultural expectation

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for how faculty members show up, for what faculty members do.

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So culture is all around us,

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whether we acknowledge it or we don't.

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Sometimes there are parts of the culture

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that we notice a little bit more,

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especially where we are disadvantaged in any way.

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For example, let's say you are in wherever you work,

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the gender or religious minority or a minority in any way,

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you can tell the difference.

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You can tell the difference between the norms of the culture

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in your experience.

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So for example, as a woman, perhaps people say,

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well, we don't really have women faculty

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leading divisions, right?

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I mean, in general, division chiefs tend not to be women.

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So women who are division chiefs tend to be a minority.

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And there's a cultural expectation

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of who the division leader looks like,

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or who the division leader is,

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or what the division leader looks like.

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And because of that, there's just this tendency

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towards fulfilling the expectation

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of what a division leader looks like.

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And so opportunities that may come to women

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don't necessarily come because,

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why would you want this opportunity?

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Division leaders are men.

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But it's subtle, it's in the background.

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People don't go out to discriminate overtly,

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at least not usually, but there's the subtle,

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just everyone kind of regressing to the mean to some extent.

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So that there's a cultural milieu in which we live

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that kind of assigns people expected roles,

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that kind of has an expectation of people.

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And it's just the way we live, right?

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It's the way we love the routine of our experience.

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We love the routine of our lives.

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And so we like things to fit.

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We love routine, we like things to make sense.

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And so where people are changing

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or doing things that are outside of the expectation,

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it does make people uncomfortable.

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So that brings me to number two,

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is that people tend to reinforce cultural norms.

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Whatever the culture says about how clinicians are,

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tends to be reinforced by many.

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So for one, one cultural norm

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that's not necessarily helpful to physicians,

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is this idea of the physician is the hero.

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And this is a double-edged sword

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as far as cultural norms and expectations.

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But it's this idea of, oh, the physician is hero,

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which means that people look at you with an air of respect

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and reverence, like, oh, you're the physician, ooh.

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Actually, in some circles,

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they're like, you're the physician, so what?

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Depends on your circles, right?

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But this idea of the physician is hero means,

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well, as the hero, you sacrifice your life to save humanity.

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What do you mean you want more pay?

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And I think the whole idea of physician payments

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from Medicare decreasing

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against the grain of inflation over time

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is an example of that.

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It's like, hey, you physician,

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of course you can handle cuts to your pay over time.

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You'll find a way to figure it out.

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And I know it's an issue that people are working to solve,

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but that it's been an issue for so long,

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is I think one of the evidence that we have

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of this institutional or societal expectation of,

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well, the hero should be able to make sacrifices for us

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because what they do is they live to help to save the people.

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And so many times too for physicians,

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because we feel like, oh, well, our job is to help.

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Sometimes we don't advocate for ourselves very well,

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because it's like, well, I don't wanna look

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as if I'm just about the money.

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But the reality is that we're not just about the money,

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but not thinking about financial concerns

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hurts our ability to do work well, right?

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Hurts our ability to serve the people who come to be served.

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And so if we're overworked

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and needing to see a lot more volume

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to make up for reduced physician payments,

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that increases the stressors upon our lives.

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That means that we're not able to do the scholarship

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that we want to do.

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It means that when we show up,

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we're somewhat grumpy and annoyed with little things.

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That means that things bother us more.

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We don't show up as well.

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And so one of the challenges with cultural expectations

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is that we tend to reinforce them

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because it's like, well, I'm the hero physician.

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This is the life I live.

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And other people are like, well, you're the hero physician.

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This is the life you should live.

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And any tendency to buck that trend

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is not always accepted by all.

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And this is the thing about people.

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People reinforce what they know to be true.

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And it's subtle.

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And that's why it's so interesting.

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People don't come out and say,

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physician, you can't live differently,

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but they kind of resist it subtly, right?

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You say, hey, I wanna do research.

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And people say, well, of course you can do research.

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Why don't you do it on your own,

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on your own time, at nights and on weekends?

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And many times as clinicians, we say,

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of course, I will do that.

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I'll do what I can, because I'm used to working hard.

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I'm used to working super hard.

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I will do this.

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But here's the challenge.

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Being a clinician is a full-time career,

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and doing research is a full-time career.

268
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,760
And so trying to do two full-time careers

269
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where you don't have full-time hours to do both,

270
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,440
and you have a life, you have family, you have friends,

271
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you have hobbies, you have other outside interests,

272
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,440
that makes it really, really challenging.

273
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,880
But the cultural expectation of the physician

274
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,400
as a clinician is something that really is,

275
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any deviation from that can be resisted,

276
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,120
even by institutions, inadvertently.

277
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,160
An institution who says, well, we want you to do research,

278
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,640
but we're not gonna support you to do research,

279
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,320
is an institution that's reinforcing the cultural norm

280
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,520
of the physician as clinician only.

281
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,440
And the challenge is that already there is a change

282
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,840
in the way physician, there's a change

283
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,800
in the way healthcare is being done,

284
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,680
and there's a lag between how we are perceiving

285
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,360
healthcare delivery and what's actually transforming.

286
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,160
And so this idea that physicians need to see more volume

287
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,240
and work harder is kind of pervasive,

288
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,880
such that any clinician who's like,

289
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,520
well, I'd like to book this trend and now do research,

290
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,440
is kind of going against cultural norms,

291
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,680
and people tend to try to reinforce those cultural norms.

292
00:12:56,680 --> 00:13:00,560
Okay, the third thing I wanna share is that if you choose

293
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,000
to go against the grain of your cultural norms,

294
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,040
you will feel pain, you will.

295
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,600
Because we are people who live in community,

296
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,880
and we are people who, you know,

297
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,280
we grow up for social acceptance.

298
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,320
Think about the first challenges on the playground,

299
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,200
who's gonna play with me?

300
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,480
And what it took to be the kid people would play with, right?

301
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,600
There's a certain way you had to conform

302
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,760
to be the person people played with,

303
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,680
if for whatever reason, you dress differently

304
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,800
in your family or you talk differently in your family,

305
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,440
you felt the pain of being different.

306
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,960
And that's why for many of us,

307
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,760
just conforming to the norms of our community

308
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,320
is exactly what we strive to do,

309
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,360
because if we're different, then people isolate us,

310
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,680
or at least they resist us and move away from us.

311
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,320
And so we feel the pain of that rejection.

312
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,400
So in order to not feel the pain of rejection,

313
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,400
we conform to cultural expectations and norms.

314
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:03,440
I, as a woman who's underrepresented in most spaces

315
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:08,440
in which I go to, especially in research or as a clinician,

316
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,800
there's an expectation for what a woman clinician

317
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,480
or a woman physician does, whether we accept it or not.

318
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,440
And when I say, well, I want to live differently,

319
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,520
it's like, wait a minute, why?

320
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,000
We don't do that here.

321
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,440
We don't have support for that here.

322
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,160
And so many times when people who are underrepresented

323
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,640
in the academy are looking for mentoring,

324
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,520
they don't have mentoring.

325
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,680
And it's not that there's not qualified mentors around them.

326
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,040
It's not that they don't have access to people

327
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,720
who can help them move forward in their careers.

328
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,680
It's just that sometimes mentors look and they say,

329
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,000
well, you don't look like me.

330
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560
And so I don't know if I can support you.

331
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:54,560
And there's the need to conform, but you can't.

332
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,240
You just, can you change the fact that you're a woman

333
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,600
and you have children and you kind of have a pole

334
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,600
that's different because of the kind of your,

335
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,440
I don't know, just what's natural to you, right?

336
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,120
If you're a woman, you have children.

337
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,720
And I'm not saying only women have children,

338
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,120
but I'm just saying that in general,

339
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,040
the burden of childcare falls on women, right?

340
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,560
And so sometimes people look at you and you're like,

341
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,680
I don't know if I can support a woman who has children

342
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,080
and who really cares about our family.

343
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,440
I mean, people say that subconsciously, right?

344
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,720
They don't say that overtly.

345
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,120
Most people don't.

346
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,200
They're like, can I support you?

347
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,160
It's easier to support someone who looks like me,

348
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,680
who has the same challenges as me,

349
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,760
who has the same needs as me.

350
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,480
I don't know if I can support someone who's different.

351
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,840
And so that's what happens whenever we say,

352
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,600
well, I wanna do something different.

353
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,880
It's like, well, I don't know if I can support you.

354
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,680
And you feel the pain because you're trying

355
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,040
to do something differently and you're not surrounded

356
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,720
by a community of people supporting you to do that.

357
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,800
And what's easier, it's just to conform and to say,

358
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,640
okay, well, I guess people like me do full-time

359
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,480
clinical care and if we're gonna make it work

360
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,520
with our families, maybe we do it part-time.

361
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,680
I'll go do that.

362
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,120
Many times I've had young faculty say to me,

363
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,720
like, I would really love to do research,

364
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,320
but I have a family and so I really just need to stay

365
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,120
with clinical care so I can just get my work done

366
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,360
and go home.

367
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,120
And I hear that and my heart goes out to people

368
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,520
when they say that.

369
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,760
And but the challenge is that, yes,

370
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,640
if you're gonna try to do things differently,

371
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,960
you do feel the pain of kind of rejection

372
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,920
or the pain of people pulling away from you

373
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,360
or the pain of not having the support that you need

374
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,120
to live that way.

375
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,960
And I just want you to recognize that,

376
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,000
especially because for us clinicians,

377
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,160
our job is to be clinicians.

378
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,680
And people around you resist your desire to go do research.

379
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,720
And so when you're like, oh, I'm not seeing patients,

380
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,320
I'm going to do research, other people are like,

381
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,240
well, are you better than us?

382
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,120
Like, we're seeing patients, you should see patients too.

383
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,600
Well, I mean, we're taking calls six nights a week,

384
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,160
you should be doing that too.

385
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,400
Anyway, so what they're not understanding,

386
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,400
what they're not realizing is that,

387
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,320
hey, if I'm going to succeed in research,

388
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,640
that means that taking calls six nights a row

389
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,360
is not going to be part of what I do.

390
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,840
I mean, taking calls six nights in a row

391
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,000
is not gonna be part of what I do

392
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,720
because in order to succeed in research,

393
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,000
I do need to be able to invest a significant amount of time

394
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,720
in my research and my writing.

395
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,440
I do need to be able to invest a significant amount of time

396
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,960
in my research and my writing.

397
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,680
And people who don't live that life don't understand that.

398
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,680
And so they're like, you have too much free time,

399
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,240
what are you doing?

400
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,080
And so we feel that pain, we do.

401
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,080
We feel that pain because sometimes people feel like

402
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,560
we're not pulling our weight,

403
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,800
but what we're doing is choosing a different life.

404
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,040
And that can feel painful because people don't understand

405
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,440
the choices we're making.

406
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:53,080
Okay, but here's the thing, and this is number four,

407
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,760
living out your career and a career that is true to you

408
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,560
is a responsibility, it really is an obligation.

409
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,240
To go back to the hero analogy,

410
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,000
you are obligated to make use of the gifts

411
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,080
that you're given.

412
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,680
But there is this idea that if you have a great gift

413
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,560
and a great talent, you should use it to its fullest.

414
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,840
And if you live below that, the manifestation

415
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,160
or the highest capacity or the highest capabilities

416
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,000
of your gift, you feel unfulfilled, you do.

417
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,680
If for whatever reason, you know you want to do research

418
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,480
and you know you want to change patient care

419
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,680
in a different way and you don't do it,

420
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,640
you are living below your capacity,

421
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,480
you're living below your full potential.

422
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:45,120
And there is a certain regret that can come later in life

423
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,720
when you look back and say,

424
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,240
you know, I kind of wish I had done this now.

425
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:52,000
I wish I had been courageous enough to try to do this thing

426
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,520
that I wanted to do.

427
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,400
And so every time we look around and say,

428
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,320
well, let me just conform to what the environment says

429
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,800
I should be, what we're doing is missing out

430
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,680
on the opportunity to live to our fullest potential.

431
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,960
And we have an obligation to live life to the fullest.

432
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,760
We absolutely do because you know what?

433
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,280
The life is short and we don't know

434
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,480
how long exactly we have left.

435
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,680
Or you might look at it and say, well, I have a long time.

436
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,800
I can do that later, but there was no time like the present

437
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,800
to seize the opportunity.

438
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,200
And so we have an obligation to take advantage

439
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,560
of the opportunity so that we can live

440
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,560
at our fullest potential.

441
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,360
And if we do anything less, we actually experience

442
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,600
the feeling of living life short.

443
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720
We feel unfulfilled.

444
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,800
We feel as if we've settled.

445
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,040
You know, when the dust settles,

446
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,720
we feel as if we settled and maybe we shouldn't have.

447
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,320
And so if we're gonna not have those regrets

448
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,760
20, 30 years from now, we're gonna wanna live

449
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,520
exactly as we feel like we're supposed to live now

450
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,280
and not just conform to the norms of our environment

451
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,080
or shrink away from the pain.

452
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,440
Okay.

453
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,040
The fifth thing I will share with you

454
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,400
is that if you're going to do that,

455
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000
if you want to live to your fullest capacity

456
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,480
as a faculty member, if you're gonna do the things

457
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,040
that challenge you, then you're gonna need support to do it.

458
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,480
It takes courage to live differently.

459
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,440
Or people say, well, we don't support clinicians

460
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,720
to do research and you're like, well,

461
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,920
that's exactly what I want to do.

462
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,120
It takes courage.

463
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,040
You're gonna have to ask for resources.

464
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,080
You're not given the resources.

465
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,000
You're gonna have to ask for it.

466
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,840
If you need mentoring, you don't have the mentoring you need,

467
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,320
you're gonna have to ask for it.

468
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,520
Or you're gonna have to go out

469
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,280
and get support that you need.

470
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,400
For many of us, coaching has been our pathway

471
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,920
to succeed in research.

472
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,200
And if you're gonna do that, you're gonna have to ask

473
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,880
for the resources to pay for the coaching

474
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,160
that supports you to do the research

475
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,800
that many people think perhaps you're not qualified to do.

476
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,080
It takes courage to do those things.

477
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,400
And so if you're going to go against the grain

478
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,880
and we've established that you must

479
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:55,880
because you must live life as you have this deep sense

480
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:02,160
of responsibility to do, you need courage, you need support.

481
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,720
The sixth thing I'm gonna share is that you're gonna be,

482
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,400
need to be in the right community.

483
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,800
Your greater community has an expectation for you

484
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,600
that involves being a full-time clinician,

485
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,800
for the most part.

486
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,200
And so when you say, I wanna go out

487
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,920
and do something differently,

488
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,880
if you live among full-time clinicians,

489
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,600
the expectation is that your life should look like theirs.

490
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,000
And if it doesn't, there's a sense of like, well, why?

491
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,720
And you can feel the pressure of conforming,

492
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,000
conform, look like you're doing what we're doing

493
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,240
even though you're living a totally different life.

494
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,560
And so you have to live, if you're going to succeed,

495
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,960
you have to find a community of people who will support you,

496
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,880
who'll say, yeah, we understand what you're doing.

497
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,160
We recognize it because we're doing it too.

498
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,960
We recognize that it's hard.

499
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,080
We recognize that it's hard and we support you doing it.

500
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,080
And those communities don't exist naturally.

501
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,600
You have to pursue them, find them, create them,

502
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,440
but you do need to live in a community that supports you

503
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,040
because people don't succeed in isolation.

504
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,360
When we think about animals in the wild, for example,

505
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,200
the animal that's part of the pack,

506
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,440
that's part of the herd does well.

507
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,040
The one that's kind of straggling behind

508
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,520
or is completely left alone

509
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,040
is at the mercy of the predators, right?

510
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,280
And so if you're going to succeed,

511
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,920
you wanna be in community,

512
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,720
but recognizing that you choose to live differently,

513
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,880
you do need to actively proactively choose

514
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,560
a community that supports you.

515
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,240
Number seven is that it will take people

516
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,520
who love you to support you.

517
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,360
And I do mean mentors, I do mean sponsors.

518
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,880
And when I say love,

519
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,040
I'm not talking about people who are like,

520
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,160
a gushy about you, like, oh my gosh, you're so amazing.

521
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,560
But people who let you be, right?

522
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,600
I think one of the greatest examples of love

523
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,000
is that we don't try to make people change

524
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000
so that we can love them.

525
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Like, if you would just conform, I can love you, right?

526
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,120
They just love you for who you are.

527
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,280
And one of the great examples of this

528
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,800
is the unconditional love of a parent,

529
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,320
which I hope you experienced, some people didn't,

530
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,000
but the unconditional love of a parent that's like,

531
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,840
well, this is who you are and I love you

532
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,320
just the way you are.

533
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,120
You don't have brown eyes, great, I still love you.

534
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,360
You don't have blonde hair, I still love you.

535
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,080
The sense of like, no matter what you are, I accept that.

536
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,520
In academic environments, sometimes there's a sense of like,

537
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,680
well, if you don't conform to the pattern

538
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,280
of what we expect a researcher to look like,

539
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,440
I don't know if I support you.

540
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,200
Could you go back to do this?

541
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,880
Or until you conform to do this particular research project,

542
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,280
I'm not going to support you.

543
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,520
There's a lot of that in academia.

544
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,200
But people who love you, people who want you,

545
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,000
who want you to live to your fullest capacity say,

546
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,880
well, how can I help you achieve what you want to achieve?

547
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,840
I may not be able to help you get there directly,

548
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,240
but I can support you.

549
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,600
And in life, if you say, hey, I no longer want to be

550
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,920
a full-time clinician, I want to lead research,

551
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,440
people should support you to do that

552
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,880
rather than put obstacles in your way

553
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,560
or encourage you not to.

554
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,360
They should say, well, if this is what you want to do,

555
00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,480
how can you, how can we support you to do that?

556
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,320
And so I'm encouraging you to look for people in your life

557
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,840
who allow you to live your life to the fullest,

558
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,440
who don't restrict you, who don't say, no, this is impossible,

559
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,400
but who say, huh, if this isn't your heart, this matters.

560
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,400
How do we help you make it happen?

561
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,800
How can I support you, even if I can't necessarily

562
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,680
do much to help you?

563
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,320
And this is important because, I mean, even a chair,

564
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,880
for a chair to say, oh, this is what you want to do,

565
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,120
well, it changes the landscape.

566
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,880
That means I need to hire more FTEs

567
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,080
to fulfill the clinical role

568
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,360
that you're no longer going to be doing.

569
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,080
How can I support you to do it?

570
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,840
Or it's like, well, I'm not able to support you,

571
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,240
but where else can you go that will support you to do it?

572
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,760
And so I want you to pay attention to people

573
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,760
who are willing to help you be who you're going to be.

574
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,520
Now, it means you're gonna have to do the work

575
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,920
because the environment may not necessarily stand up

576
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,040
and try to push you in that direction.

577
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,760
You're gonna need to do the work,

578
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,360
but you wanna make sure that there are people

579
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,040
who don't try to change you.

580
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,760
Like, oh, no, no, no, that's not who you wanna be.

581
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,840
Let's fix you.

582
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,400
You are not the problem.

583
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,080
And so nobody should be trying to fix you.

584
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,680
Like, oh, no, let's try to help you love clinical care more.

585
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,360
It's not about love for clinical care.

586
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,160
It's about a responsibility to the scholarship

587
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,960
that you know you need to do,

588
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,160
the research program that you know you need to establish.

589
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,320
And so you want to be surrounded by people

590
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,400
or you want to surround yourself with people

591
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,640
who encourage you.

592
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,840
And if they're not able to help you,

593
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,600
get out of your way so that you can find the help

594
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,560
that you need.

595
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,440
All right, there are seven things I talked about

596
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,600
in the need to choose to love differently

597
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,720
and is to recognize the true expectations of the culture,

598
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,400
recognize that people tend to reinforce cultural norms.

599
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,800
If you choose to live differently,

600
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,760
you will feel the pain.

601
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,040
If you're gonna live out your unique career path,

602
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,400
it's your responsibility to yourself

603
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,440
and your maximum potential.

604
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,280
If you're gonna do that,

605
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,520
it's gonna take courage and support.

606
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,840
That's number five.

607
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,760
You're gonna need to find the right communities

608
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,080
that support you.

609
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,200
You're gonna wanna make sure that you're supported

610
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,680
by people who love you.

611
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,000
And by love, that's people who let you be.

612
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,480
Get out of your way or support you

613
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,480
rather than trying to make you conform to a certain norm.

614
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,360
All right, it's been a pleasure talking with you today.

615
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,760
As always, I'm always in the market to coach.

616
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,000
Actually, I am now.

617
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,880
I don't have any individual slots,

618
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,520
but I do have group coaching slots if you're interested.

619
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,000
Send me a DM, especially on LinkedIn.

620
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,360
I'll be happy to talk with you.

621
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:20,400
It's been such a pleasure talking with you today.

622
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,360
Thank you for listening.

623
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,840
And I look forward to seeing you again

624
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,760
on the next episode of the Clinician Researcher podcast.

625
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:36,760
Thank you for listening.