If we conform to the expectations of our culture, we may end up living life below our full potential. We can recognize our true potential if we choose to live differently. In this episode, we discuss the following:
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure
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to be talking with you today.
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Today I'm talking about a topic that I find
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to be very important and very serious.
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And it's about why you must choose to live differently.
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And I think it's so important
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that I actually say why you must.
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And I feel very strongly about it.
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And I just wanna let you know upfront
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that perhaps this is a little biased,
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but I hope that you'll take some time and listen
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and see for yourself how much you agree or disagree.
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And I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions as well.
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But yes, I'm talking about why you must choose
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to live differently.
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One of the reasons that I share this is because
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when I started my faculty career
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and I was very, very big on moving forward into research,
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what I didn't realize is that it's not the norm
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for clinicians to do research.
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And it's not the norm because we spent a ton of time
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doing clinical training.
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And although people say, well,
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every clinician should be doing research
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or should be doing some type of scholarship,
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they're not really saying clinicians
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should be leading research programs.
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And if they're seeing that,
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there's a lot of what I should say
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is lack of support for that idea.
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And so just because people say
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we support clinicians doing research,
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the real question is, is there a show of support?
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And as I came through on my journey,
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I didn't have support.
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I didn't realize I didn't have support.
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I didn't realize what was needed
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to build a research career.
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And that is financial support,
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institutional support, and mentoring support.
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There are all kinds of support to really get someone
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to really succeed as a researcher.
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Now, don't get me wrong,
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clinicians have a lot of support.
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They have a lot of support to do their clinical work
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to a great extent,
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but not so much support to do research.
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And so even when institutions say,
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well, we want our clinicians to do researchers,
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when they don't supply them with the time
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to do the research,
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it's actually the same as if you were saying,
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I don't support you,
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except you say I support you,
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but then you don't give people the support they need.
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And when I started, I thought,
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oh, okay, maybe this was unique to me.
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But now that I look around,
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I realized that this is the norm.
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And more often than not,
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clinicians are not supported to lead research.
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And it makes sense because, say,
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clinicians, they're trained to do patient care,
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and patient care and research are not the same thing.
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They are very, very different.
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And so then any clinician that says,
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well, I want to lead a research program,
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is really doing things differently,
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is really saying, I want to choose to live differently.
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And living differently is challenging.
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And I'm gonna talk a little bit about the challenges
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of living differently,
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but why you must take on the challenge
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of living differently.
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And I'm talking to clinicians who are growing as scientists
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and also bucking the trend to a great extent,
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because if you are going to live out a career
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that is fulfilling,
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you're gonna do what's not status quo,
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because status quo is fine.
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I mean, status quo is fine,
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except that there's more.
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And if we've already seen something,
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then we desire something new,
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something better, something greater.
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And so if, for whatever reason,
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we're able to help patients control their blood sugars,
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we know that we can do more.
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How much more can we improve on diabetes care, right?
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And so it's one thing to see patients clinically,
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it's another thing to say, well,
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what's the next frontier
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in terms of the fight against diabetes?
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How do we make things better?
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And so living differently really does mean
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rejecting the status quo,
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but that's the space,
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that's a place in which we get to fulfillment, absolutely.
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And as clinicians and people
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who've gone through clinical training,
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we've fought or to some extent,
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we've transformed all along our journey, right?
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We started as medical students
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and we transformed on the journey to become interns.
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We transformed from interns to residents.
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We transformed from residents to faculty members
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and the transformation has to continue.
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Because when it doesn't,
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then we feel stagnant and stuck
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because for at least 10 years or more of our experience,
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we've transformed every few years.
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And so transformation is part of our physician experience,
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but staying the same
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sometimes is the expectation of our environment.
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And if we're going to thrive,
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if we're going to do things,
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if we're gonna have a successful and fulfilling career,
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we do need to choose to do things differently.
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Okay, so I wanna just talk about seven things
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that you should think about about living differently.
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Okay, so the first thing I wanna talk about
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is the fact that we live in a cultural milieu.
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We live in our own culture,
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we're surrounded by culture.
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And whether we accept what the culture,
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whether we accept the norms of the culture or not,
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we are kind of subject to or bound by the culture
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in some way, shape or form.
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And culture has been said to be like a conversation
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between two fish and one fish asks,
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well, how's the water?
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And the other fish is like, water, what water?
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And it's the obliviousness to what defines
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our very environment.
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It's like the culture is everything around us
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that we take for granted.
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The way we have expectations for how news is consumed,
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how presidential elections are run,
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how we interact with legislators, how lawyers behave,
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how children are educated, right?
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There's a cultural expectation
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that many times we don't think about.
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As clinicians, there's a cultural expectation
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for how clinicians show up.
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For PhD scientists, there's a cultural expectation,
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depending on where you are in your career,
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there's a cultural expectation
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for how faculty members show up, for what faculty members do.
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So culture is all around us,
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whether we acknowledge it or we don't.
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Sometimes there are parts of the culture
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that we notice a little bit more,
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especially where we are disadvantaged in any way.
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For example, let's say you are in wherever you work,
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the gender or religious minority or a minority in any way,
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you can tell the difference.
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You can tell the difference between the norms of the culture
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in your experience.
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So for example, as a woman, perhaps people say,
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well, we don't really have women faculty
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leading divisions, right?
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I mean, in general, division chiefs tend not to be women.
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So women who are division chiefs tend to be a minority.
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And there's a cultural expectation
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of who the division leader looks like,
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or who the division leader is,
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or what the division leader looks like.
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And because of that, there's just this tendency
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towards fulfilling the expectation
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of what a division leader looks like.
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And so opportunities that may come to women
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don't necessarily come because,
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why would you want this opportunity?
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Division leaders are men.
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But it's subtle, it's in the background.
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People don't go out to discriminate overtly,
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at least not usually, but there's the subtle,
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just everyone kind of regressing to the mean to some extent.
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So that there's a cultural milieu in which we live
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that kind of assigns people expected roles,
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that kind of has an expectation of people.
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And it's just the way we live, right?
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It's the way we love the routine of our experience.
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We love the routine of our lives.
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And so we like things to fit.
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We love routine, we like things to make sense.
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And so where people are changing
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or doing things that are outside of the expectation,
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it does make people uncomfortable.
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So that brings me to number two,
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is that people tend to reinforce cultural norms.
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Whatever the culture says about how clinicians are,
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tends to be reinforced by many.
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So for one, one cultural norm
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that's not necessarily helpful to physicians,
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is this idea of the physician is the hero.
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And this is a double-edged sword
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as far as cultural norms and expectations.
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But it's this idea of, oh, the physician is hero,
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which means that people look at you with an air of respect
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and reverence, like, oh, you're the physician, ooh.
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Actually, in some circles,
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they're like, you're the physician, so what?
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Depends on your circles, right?
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But this idea of the physician is hero means,
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well, as the hero, you sacrifice your life to save humanity.
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What do you mean you want more pay?
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And I think the whole idea of physician payments
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from Medicare decreasing
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against the grain of inflation over time
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is an example of that.
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It's like, hey, you physician,
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of course you can handle cuts to your pay over time.
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You'll find a way to figure it out.
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And I know it's an issue that people are working to solve,
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but that it's been an issue for so long,
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is I think one of the evidence that we have
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of this institutional or societal expectation of,
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well, the hero should be able to make sacrifices for us
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because what they do is they live to help to save the people.
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And so many times too for physicians,
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because we feel like, oh, well, our job is to help.
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Sometimes we don't advocate for ourselves very well,
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because it's like, well, I don't wanna look
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as if I'm just about the money.
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But the reality is that we're not just about the money,
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but not thinking about financial concerns
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hurts our ability to do work well, right?
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Hurts our ability to serve the people who come to be served.
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And so if we're overworked
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and needing to see a lot more volume
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to make up for reduced physician payments,
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that increases the stressors upon our lives.
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That means that we're not able to do the scholarship
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that we want to do.
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It means that when we show up,
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we're somewhat grumpy and annoyed with little things.
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That means that things bother us more.
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We don't show up as well.
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And so one of the challenges with cultural expectations
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is that we tend to reinforce them
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because it's like, well, I'm the hero physician.
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This is the life I live.
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And other people are like, well, you're the hero physician.
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This is the life you should live.
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And any tendency to buck that trend
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is not always accepted by all.
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And this is the thing about people.
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People reinforce what they know to be true.
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And it's subtle.
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And that's why it's so interesting.
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People don't come out and say,
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physician, you can't live differently,
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but they kind of resist it subtly, right?
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You say, hey, I wanna do research.
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And people say, well, of course you can do research.
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Why don't you do it on your own,
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on your own time, at nights and on weekends?
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And many times as clinicians, we say,
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of course, I will do that.
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I'll do what I can, because I'm used to working hard.
263
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I'm used to working super hard.
264
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,080
I will do this.
265
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:39,960
But here's the challenge.
266
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Being a clinician is a full-time career,
267
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:44,440
and doing research is a full-time career.
268
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,760
And so trying to do two full-time careers
269
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:49,920
where you don't have full-time hours to do both,
270
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:53,440
and you have a life, you have family, you have friends,
271
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you have hobbies, you have other outside interests,
272
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:59,440
that makes it really, really challenging.
273
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,880
But the cultural expectation of the physician
274
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:05,400
as a clinician is something that really is,
275
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any deviation from that can be resisted,
276
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:12,120
even by institutions, inadvertently.
277
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,160
An institution who says, well, we want you to do research,
278
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but we're not gonna support you to do research,
279
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,320
is an institution that's reinforcing the cultural norm
280
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:23,520
of the physician as clinician only.
281
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And the challenge is that already there is a change
282
00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:29,840
in the way physician, there's a change
283
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,800
in the way healthcare is being done,
284
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,680
and there's a lag between how we are perceiving
285
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,360
healthcare delivery and what's actually transforming.
286
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,160
And so this idea that physicians need to see more volume
287
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:47,240
and work harder is kind of pervasive,
288
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,880
such that any clinician who's like,
289
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,520
well, I'd like to book this trend and now do research,
290
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,440
is kind of going against cultural norms,
291
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,680
and people tend to try to reinforce those cultural norms.
292
00:12:56,680 --> 00:13:00,560
Okay, the third thing I wanna share is that if you choose
293
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,000
to go against the grain of your cultural norms,
294
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,040
you will feel pain, you will.
295
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,600
Because we are people who live in community,
296
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,880
and we are people who, you know,
297
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we grow up for social acceptance.
298
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,320
Think about the first challenges on the playground,
299
00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,200
who's gonna play with me?
300
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,480
And what it took to be the kid people would play with, right?
301
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,600
There's a certain way you had to conform
302
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,760
to be the person people played with,
303
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,680
if for whatever reason, you dress differently
304
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,800
in your family or you talk differently in your family,
305
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,440
you felt the pain of being different.
306
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,960
And that's why for many of us,
307
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,760
just conforming to the norms of our community
308
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,320
is exactly what we strive to do,
309
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,360
because if we're different, then people isolate us,
310
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,680
or at least they resist us and move away from us.
311
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:52,320
And so we feel the pain of that rejection.
312
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,400
So in order to not feel the pain of rejection,
313
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,400
we conform to cultural expectations and norms.
314
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:03,440
I, as a woman who's underrepresented in most spaces
315
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:08,440
in which I go to, especially in research or as a clinician,
316
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:12,800
there's an expectation for what a woman clinician
317
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:16,480
or a woman physician does, whether we accept it or not.
318
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,440
And when I say, well, I want to live differently,
319
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,520
it's like, wait a minute, why?
320
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,000
We don't do that here.
321
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,440
We don't have support for that here.
322
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,160
And so many times when people who are underrepresented
323
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,640
in the academy are looking for mentoring,
324
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,520
they don't have mentoring.
325
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,680
And it's not that there's not qualified mentors around them.
326
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,040
It's not that they don't have access to people
327
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,720
who can help them move forward in their careers.
328
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,680
It's just that sometimes mentors look and they say,
329
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:47,000
well, you don't look like me.
330
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,560
And so I don't know if I can support you.
331
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:54,560
And there's the need to conform, but you can't.
332
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,240
You just, can you change the fact that you're a woman
333
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,600
and you have children and you kind of have a pole
334
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:07,600
that's different because of the kind of your,
335
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,440
I don't know, just what's natural to you, right?
336
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,120
If you're a woman, you have children.
337
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,720
And I'm not saying only women have children,
338
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,120
but I'm just saying that in general,
339
00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:18,040
the burden of childcare falls on women, right?
340
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,560
And so sometimes people look at you and you're like,
341
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,680
I don't know if I can support a woman who has children
342
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:24,080
and who really cares about our family.
343
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,440
I mean, people say that subconsciously, right?
344
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,720
They don't say that overtly.
345
00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,120
Most people don't.
346
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,200
They're like, can I support you?
347
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,160
It's easier to support someone who looks like me,
348
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,680
who has the same challenges as me,
349
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,760
who has the same needs as me.
350
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,480
I don't know if I can support someone who's different.
351
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,840
And so that's what happens whenever we say,
352
00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,600
well, I wanna do something different.
353
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,880
It's like, well, I don't know if I can support you.
354
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,680
And you feel the pain because you're trying
355
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,040
to do something differently and you're not surrounded
356
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,720
by a community of people supporting you to do that.
357
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,800
And what's easier, it's just to conform and to say,
358
00:15:57,800 --> 00:16:00,640
okay, well, I guess people like me do full-time
359
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,480
clinical care and if we're gonna make it work
360
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,520
with our families, maybe we do it part-time.
361
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,680
I'll go do that.
362
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,120
Many times I've had young faculty say to me,
363
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,720
like, I would really love to do research,
364
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:14,320
but I have a family and so I really just need to stay
365
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,120
with clinical care so I can just get my work done
366
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,360
and go home.
367
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,120
And I hear that and my heart goes out to people
368
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,520
when they say that.
369
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,760
And but the challenge is that, yes,
370
00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,640
if you're gonna try to do things differently,
371
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,960
you do feel the pain of kind of rejection
372
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,920
or the pain of people pulling away from you
373
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,360
or the pain of not having the support that you need
374
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,120
to live that way.
375
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,960
And I just want you to recognize that,
376
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,000
especially because for us clinicians,
377
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,160
our job is to be clinicians.
378
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,680
And people around you resist your desire to go do research.
379
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,720
And so when you're like, oh, I'm not seeing patients,
380
00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,320
I'm going to do research, other people are like,
381
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,240
well, are you better than us?
382
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,120
Like, we're seeing patients, you should see patients too.
383
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,600
Well, I mean, we're taking calls six nights a week,
384
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,160
you should be doing that too.
385
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,400
Anyway, so what they're not understanding,
386
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,400
what they're not realizing is that,
387
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,320
hey, if I'm going to succeed in research,
388
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,640
that means that taking calls six nights a row
389
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,360
is not going to be part of what I do.
390
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:14,840
I mean, taking calls six nights in a row
391
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,000
is not gonna be part of what I do
392
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,720
because in order to succeed in research,
393
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,000
I do need to be able to invest a significant amount of time
394
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,720
in my research and my writing.
395
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,440
I do need to be able to invest a significant amount of time
396
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,960
in my research and my writing.
397
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,680
And people who don't live that life don't understand that.
398
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,680
And so they're like, you have too much free time,
399
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,240
what are you doing?
400
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,080
And so we feel that pain, we do.
401
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:42,080
We feel that pain because sometimes people feel like
402
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,560
we're not pulling our weight,
403
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,800
but what we're doing is choosing a different life.
404
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,040
And that can feel painful because people don't understand
405
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,440
the choices we're making.
406
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:53,080
Okay, but here's the thing, and this is number four,
407
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,760
living out your career and a career that is true to you
408
00:17:56,760 --> 00:18:00,560
is a responsibility, it really is an obligation.
409
00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:03,240
To go back to the hero analogy,
410
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:07,000
you are obligated to make use of the gifts
411
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,080
that you're given.
412
00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:12,680
But there is this idea that if you have a great gift
413
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,560
and a great talent, you should use it to its fullest.
414
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,840
And if you live below that, the manifestation
415
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,160
or the highest capacity or the highest capabilities
416
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,000
of your gift, you feel unfulfilled, you do.
417
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,680
If for whatever reason, you know you want to do research
418
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,480
and you know you want to change patient care
419
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,680
in a different way and you don't do it,
420
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,640
you are living below your capacity,
421
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,480
you're living below your full potential.
422
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:45,120
And there is a certain regret that can come later in life
423
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,720
when you look back and say,
424
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,240
you know, I kind of wish I had done this now.
425
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:52,000
I wish I had been courageous enough to try to do this thing
426
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,520
that I wanted to do.
427
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,400
And so every time we look around and say,
428
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:59,320
well, let me just conform to what the environment says
429
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,800
I should be, what we're doing is missing out
430
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,680
on the opportunity to live to our fullest potential.
431
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,960
And we have an obligation to live life to the fullest.
432
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,760
We absolutely do because you know what?
433
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,280
The life is short and we don't know
434
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,480
how long exactly we have left.
435
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,680
Or you might look at it and say, well, I have a long time.
436
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,800
I can do that later, but there was no time like the present
437
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,800
to seize the opportunity.
438
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,200
And so we have an obligation to take advantage
439
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,560
of the opportunity so that we can live
440
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,560
at our fullest potential.
441
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:33,360
And if we do anything less, we actually experience
442
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,600
the feeling of living life short.
443
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,720
We feel unfulfilled.
444
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,800
We feel as if we've settled.
445
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,040
You know, when the dust settles,
446
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,720
we feel as if we settled and maybe we shouldn't have.
447
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,320
And so if we're gonna not have those regrets
448
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,760
20, 30 years from now, we're gonna wanna live
449
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,520
exactly as we feel like we're supposed to live now
450
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,280
and not just conform to the norms of our environment
451
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:58,080
or shrink away from the pain.
452
00:19:58,080 --> 00:19:59,440
Okay.
453
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,040
The fifth thing I will share with you
454
00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:02,400
is that if you're going to do that,
455
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,000
if you want to live to your fullest capacity
456
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,480
as a faculty member, if you're gonna do the things
457
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:11,040
that challenge you, then you're gonna need support to do it.
458
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,480
It takes courage to live differently.
459
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,440
Or people say, well, we don't support clinicians
460
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,720
to do research and you're like, well,
461
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,920
that's exactly what I want to do.
462
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,120
It takes courage.
463
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,040
You're gonna have to ask for resources.
464
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,080
You're not given the resources.
465
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,000
You're gonna have to ask for it.
466
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,840
If you need mentoring, you don't have the mentoring you need,
467
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,320
you're gonna have to ask for it.
468
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:30,520
Or you're gonna have to go out
469
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,280
and get support that you need.
470
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,400
For many of us, coaching has been our pathway
471
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,920
to succeed in research.
472
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,200
And if you're gonna do that, you're gonna have to ask
473
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,880
for the resources to pay for the coaching
474
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,160
that supports you to do the research
475
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,800
that many people think perhaps you're not qualified to do.
476
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,080
It takes courage to do those things.
477
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,400
And so if you're going to go against the grain
478
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,880
and we've established that you must
479
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:55,880
because you must live life as you have this deep sense
480
00:20:57,160 --> 00:21:02,160
of responsibility to do, you need courage, you need support.
481
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,720
The sixth thing I'm gonna share is that you're gonna be,
482
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,400
need to be in the right community.
483
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,800
Your greater community has an expectation for you
484
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,600
that involves being a full-time clinician,
485
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,800
for the most part.
486
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,200
And so when you say, I wanna go out
487
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,920
and do something differently,
488
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,880
if you live among full-time clinicians,
489
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,600
the expectation is that your life should look like theirs.
490
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:23,000
And if it doesn't, there's a sense of like, well, why?
491
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,720
And you can feel the pressure of conforming,
492
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,000
conform, look like you're doing what we're doing
493
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,240
even though you're living a totally different life.
494
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,560
And so you have to live, if you're going to succeed,
495
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,960
you have to find a community of people who will support you,
496
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,880
who'll say, yeah, we understand what you're doing.
497
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,160
We recognize it because we're doing it too.
498
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,960
We recognize that it's hard.
499
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,080
We recognize that it's hard and we support you doing it.
500
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,080
And those communities don't exist naturally.
501
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,600
You have to pursue them, find them, create them,
502
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,440
but you do need to live in a community that supports you
503
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,040
because people don't succeed in isolation.
504
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,360
When we think about animals in the wild, for example,
505
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,200
the animal that's part of the pack,
506
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,440
that's part of the herd does well.
507
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,040
The one that's kind of straggling behind
508
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,520
or is completely left alone
509
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,040
is at the mercy of the predators, right?
510
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,280
And so if you're going to succeed,
511
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,920
you wanna be in community,
512
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,720
but recognizing that you choose to live differently,
513
00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,880
you do need to actively proactively choose
514
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,560
a community that supports you.
515
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,240
Number seven is that it will take people
516
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,520
who love you to support you.
517
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,360
And I do mean mentors, I do mean sponsors.
518
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,880
And when I say love,
519
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,040
I'm not talking about people who are like,
520
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:38,160
a gushy about you, like, oh my gosh, you're so amazing.
521
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:41,560
But people who let you be, right?
522
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,600
I think one of the greatest examples of love
523
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,000
is that we don't try to make people change
524
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,000
so that we can love them.
525
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Like, if you would just conform, I can love you, right?
526
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,120
They just love you for who you are.
527
00:22:53,120 --> 00:22:55,280
And one of the great examples of this
528
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,800
is the unconditional love of a parent,
529
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,320
which I hope you experienced, some people didn't,
530
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:02,000
but the unconditional love of a parent that's like,
531
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,840
well, this is who you are and I love you
532
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,320
just the way you are.
533
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,120
You don't have brown eyes, great, I still love you.
534
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:09,360
You don't have blonde hair, I still love you.
535
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,080
The sense of like, no matter what you are, I accept that.
536
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:15,520
In academic environments, sometimes there's a sense of like,
537
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,680
well, if you don't conform to the pattern
538
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,280
of what we expect a researcher to look like,
539
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:22,440
I don't know if I support you.
540
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,200
Could you go back to do this?
541
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,880
Or until you conform to do this particular research project,
542
00:23:27,880 --> 00:23:29,280
I'm not going to support you.
543
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,520
There's a lot of that in academia.
544
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,200
But people who love you, people who want you,
545
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,000
who want you to live to your fullest capacity say,
546
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,880
well, how can I help you achieve what you want to achieve?
547
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:42,840
I may not be able to help you get there directly,
548
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,240
but I can support you.
549
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,600
And in life, if you say, hey, I no longer want to be
550
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,920
a full-time clinician, I want to lead research,
551
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,440
people should support you to do that
552
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,880
rather than put obstacles in your way
553
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,560
or encourage you not to.
554
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,360
They should say, well, if this is what you want to do,
555
00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,480
how can you, how can we support you to do that?
556
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,320
And so I'm encouraging you to look for people in your life
557
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,840
who allow you to live your life to the fullest,
558
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,440
who don't restrict you, who don't say, no, this is impossible,
559
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,400
but who say, huh, if this isn't your heart, this matters.
560
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,400
How do we help you make it happen?
561
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,800
How can I support you, even if I can't necessarily
562
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,680
do much to help you?
563
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,320
And this is important because, I mean, even a chair,
564
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,880
for a chair to say, oh, this is what you want to do,
565
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,120
well, it changes the landscape.
566
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,880
That means I need to hire more FTEs
567
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,080
to fulfill the clinical role
568
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,360
that you're no longer going to be doing.
569
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,080
How can I support you to do it?
570
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,840
Or it's like, well, I'm not able to support you,
571
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,240
but where else can you go that will support you to do it?
572
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,760
And so I want you to pay attention to people
573
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,760
who are willing to help you be who you're going to be.
574
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,520
Now, it means you're gonna have to do the work
575
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,920
because the environment may not necessarily stand up
576
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,040
and try to push you in that direction.
577
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,760
You're gonna need to do the work,
578
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,360
but you wanna make sure that there are people
579
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,040
who don't try to change you.
580
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,760
Like, oh, no, no, no, that's not who you wanna be.
581
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,840
Let's fix you.
582
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,400
You are not the problem.
583
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,080
And so nobody should be trying to fix you.
584
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,680
Like, oh, no, let's try to help you love clinical care more.
585
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,360
It's not about love for clinical care.
586
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,160
It's about a responsibility to the scholarship
587
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,960
that you know you need to do,
588
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:16,160
the research program that you know you need to establish.
589
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,320
And so you want to be surrounded by people
590
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,400
or you want to surround yourself with people
591
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,640
who encourage you.
592
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:22,840
And if they're not able to help you,
593
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,600
get out of your way so that you can find the help
594
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:25,560
that you need.
595
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,440
All right, there are seven things I talked about
596
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,600
in the need to choose to love differently
597
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,720
and is to recognize the true expectations of the culture,
598
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:35,400
recognize that people tend to reinforce cultural norms.
599
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,800
If you choose to live differently,
600
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,760
you will feel the pain.
601
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,040
If you're gonna live out your unique career path,
602
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,400
it's your responsibility to yourself
603
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,440
and your maximum potential.
604
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,280
If you're gonna do that,
605
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,520
it's gonna take courage and support.
606
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:48,840
That's number five.
607
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,760
You're gonna need to find the right communities
608
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,080
that support you.
609
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,200
You're gonna wanna make sure that you're supported
610
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,680
by people who love you.
611
00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,000
And by love, that's people who let you be.
612
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,480
Get out of your way or support you
613
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,480
rather than trying to make you conform to a certain norm.
614
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,360
All right, it's been a pleasure talking with you today.
615
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,760
As always, I'm always in the market to coach.
616
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,000
Actually, I am now.
617
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,880
I don't have any individual slots,
618
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,520
but I do have group coaching slots if you're interested.
619
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,000
Send me a DM, especially on LinkedIn.
620
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,360
I'll be happy to talk with you.
621
00:26:18,360 --> 00:26:20,400
It's been such a pleasure talking with you today.
622
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:21,360
Thank you for listening.
623
00:26:21,360 --> 00:26:23,840
And I look forward to seeing you again
624
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,760
on the next episode of the Clinician Researcher podcast.
625
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:36,760
Thank you for listening.