Transcript
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills
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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.
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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find
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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research
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program.
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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.
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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.
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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians
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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is always a pleasure to be speaking with you.
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Thank you for tuning in.
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I am excited to be bringing you this episode live from the American Society of Hematology
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Animal Meeting, which is so pertinent to today's episode, the title of which is, How to Overcome
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the Animal Meeting Blues.
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You know the Animal Meeting Blues, if you've never had them, they're coming to you eventually.
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Maybe, and maybe not.
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Maybe this will be the intervention that prevents you from ever having Animal Meeting Blues.
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But yes, I'm excited to talk to you about it.
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But what are the Animal Meeting Blues?
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Well, the Animal Meeting Blues are the experience you have when you go through the program handbook,
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or it's online now, so it's the app.
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You look and see all the people you graduated with.
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You either went to med school together or you went to residency together.
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And it seems as if every other page you turn, it's their name on there.
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And it's like, oh, wow, look, this person is presenting this.
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And wow, they have this plenary abstract session.
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And oh my goodness, they're doing all this other stuff.
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And what am I doing?
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And you compare yourself to them and you feel like, wow, I'm really, oh, wow, I don't want
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to say bad things about myself.
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But you know, you don't think well of yourself because you're like, wow, what am I doing?
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Well, all my colleagues are just killing it.
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They're doing so awesome.
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They're presenting all these abstracts.
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They're doing all these sessions and I'm doing nothing.
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Yes, that's what the Animal Meeting Blues are about.
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And you finally go, you sit and you think about your life and you're like, hmm, am I
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even worthy of being here?
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Like should I quit now?
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Oh my goodness.
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So yeah, that was me.
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A couple of actually maybe about an hour and a half ago where I was sitting and saying,
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why am I at this meeting?
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Look at this person and look at that person.
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Look at this person.
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And so this episode is more for me really than it is for you.
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But I hope that maybe this says something to you and that you can use it as well.
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So how do you overcome the Animal Meeting Blues?
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Okay, so the first thing is to take a deep breath and remember that it is all an illusion.
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It is all an illusion.
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And the reason I call it an illusion is because if you think back to seven days before the
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meeting, you were doing just fine.
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You're excited to be going to the meeting.
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You're going to meet friends.
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You're excited to maybe present your one poster abstract.
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Maybe you had no poster or maybe you had nothing.
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It doesn't matter.
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You were excited about being at the meeting.
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It's the reason you paid a lot of money to get a flight that would bring you to the Animal
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Meeting location.
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You paid a lot of money for the hotel, not because you were forced to, but because you
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chose to.
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It was a choice you made and you were happy when you made this choice.
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I know because no one's forcing you to be here or no one's forcing you to go to the
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meeting.
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But you were excited before you got to the Animal Meeting.
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And so getting to the Animal Meeting and having anything that now causes you to rethink your
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life or causes you to think, am I supposed to be here, is an illusion.
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It's because in one program, maybe someone feels overrepresented to you because you're
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paying attention to their name and you're noticing that their name is overrepresented
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to you in the book.
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Or you're noticing that relative to what you're doing, some people are doing so much more.
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And here's the thing, it will always be the case.
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Always be the case.
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There will always be someone doing more than you.
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And what you're not paying attention to is all the people who are doing less than you.
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So here you are at the meeting this year.
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Maybe you're presenting a poster, but there are a lot of people who are not at the meeting
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presenting anything this year.
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And many of them are here, but some of them are not here.
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And so it's all an illusion, this kind of experience that you're having of people doing
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so much more than you is only coming into your purview because you're looking through
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the annual program booklet.
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And so all of a sudden, you're assessing your career on the basis of who's presenting at
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your annual meeting or not presenting at your annual meeting, but you're mostly focused
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on the people who are and the fact that you are not presenting.
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It's all an illusion.
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It's not real.
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If you didn't show up to the meeting, you wouldn't feel so bad.
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And so the fact that you're feeling bad now is a sign that you know what?
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It's not real.
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It's not real.
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It's not a judgment on your career.
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It's not a judgment on the work that you've done so far.
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You are an awesome clinician, researcher.
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You're awesome, whatever you do.
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And it is not a judgment on you.
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It's just an illusion.
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So take a deep breath and let the breath out and recognize that, you know what?
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In a couple of days, this will all pass.
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Okay.
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Number two.
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Number two is to recognize that comparing yourself with anyone else is always a losing
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game.
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You can never win.
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Doesn't matter whether you're at the annual meeting, whether it's at a smaller meeting,
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whether it's at your institution, or you're just looking through the journal articles
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that have been publishing your favorite journal for this week.
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Every time you compare yourself with someone else, you lose.
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You always lose because, you know, actually both scenarios, to be honest to me, are worst
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case scenarios.
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So the best case scenario, let's look at it as a best case scenario, is that you're the
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one who's killing it.
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You're the one who's on the front page.
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You're the one who's presenting all the abstracts.
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Best case scenario, you're that person who's doing everything.
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And then you look around and you're like, well, this other person is not doing as well
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and that other person is not doing as well.
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And then you start to feel like you're all that, like you're superior.
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And it's a lie.
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You happen to be able to present a couple more abstracts this year compared to everyone
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else.
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Doesn't make you superior to other people.
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It just means, wow, you had opportunity this year.
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That may not come again next year.
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So to be honest, that best case scenario is kind of like a worst case scenario because
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it now causes you to start looking down on people and that's not okay.
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Because in science, there's no superiority.
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There's just everybody contributing to move things forward and different people having
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different opportunities to move work forward.
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And so any scenario that allows you to think that you're bigger than or more important
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than other people is not good.
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Not good for you, clearly not good for others, but mostly not good for you.
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And the worst case scenario is kind of like the thing that triggers the animal meeting
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blues.
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The thing when you look at it and you're like, my gosh, what is wrong with me?
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What's wrong with my life?
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I'm accomplishing nothing.
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And it's false.
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It's false because you know what?
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You're doing good work.
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You're doing good science.
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So you didn't have anything to present this year or not that many things to present.
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But you know, so when you start looking at other people and you're like, well, they
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must be better than me.
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It's a lie.
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And now you feel inferior to them.
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You feel like your work is worthless, but it's not true.
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All of our work matters.
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All of our work is important, but I'm not really here to talk about everybody.
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I'm just here to talk about you.
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Your work matters.
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It matters before it mattered before you got on the plane.
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And how is it that you got off the plane and now it doesn't matter because everybody else
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is doing more than you?
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It is no good.
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Comparing yourself to other people is a losing strategy.
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Please, I want to beg you for the love of God, for the love of all things that are good.
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Stop doing that.
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I know other people will ask you to, other people will compare you.
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You will invariably have a mentor who will show up and say, wow, this other person is
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listed seven times and I don't even see your name.
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What's going on with you?
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Because human beings are human beings.
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And sometimes we think that we can motivate people by comparing them to their best friends
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or comparing them to other people.
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And to be honest, it doesn't really work.
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And they don't know that.
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They still use those strategies to try to maybe convince you to do things differently
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because they've been trying to tell you for a long time, it doesn't matter.
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And I will take a step back and say, it's hard not to get caught up in the comparisons,
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but it's so important for your health, for your sanity, for your peace of mind that you
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come out of the boat of comparing yourself to other people.
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It is a losing strategy.
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It's a losing battle.
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It doesn't help you because your goal, and this is where I quote a book, The Gap and
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the Gain, which actually invariably I haven't read yet, it's by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and Ron
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Sullivan.
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But they explain the concept in another book that I have, 10x is easier than 2x.
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And they talk about how if you're comparing yourself to an ideal, you're always going
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to fall short.
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But if you're comparing yourself to where you used to be, then you're always going to
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see that you've really, really made a big leap.
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And so it's important for you to start comparing yourself to other people who for whatever
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reason you've made them your ideal and start comparing yourself to you.
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How far have you come?
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When you acknowledge all your successes and you acknowledge how far you've come, then
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you're really able to celebrate, which is what you should do.
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You see other people's work being presented, you celebrate.
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You see other people not have their work presented, you celebrate because you're not celebrating
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them.
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You're celebrating you.
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You're celebrating how far you've come and how far you've come is relevant, independent
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of what everybody else is doing.
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So comparing yourself with anyone else is a losing battle.
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Please do not engage in it.
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Okay, that's number two.
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Number three is to reconnect with the value of your work.
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Your work is valuable.
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It was valuable before you got on the plane.
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It will be valuable when you get back home.
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Your work is always important.
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And if you allow yourself to get on that bandwagon of comparison where you lose excitement about
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your work, it's a problem because then you don't go back and take up your work with gusto
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and you really do need to because your work matters.
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You are the champion of your work and it's important for you to keep connected with the
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value of your work.
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No matter what it is in front of you, no matter how many people before you are being celebrated
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for their work.
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And you know what?
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You should celebrate them.
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You should celebrate them because it's awesome that they're having their work be presented
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because the day is coming where you get to be the person who's celebrated too.
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And you celebrate other people because your day will come to be celebrated too.
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And so reconnect with the value of your work.
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The value of your work matters no matter who else is presenting their work.
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And the value of your work is made more valuable by the fact that other people are doing work
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that moves science forward and that really creates a platform for your work.
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Okay, so reconnect with the value of your work.
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That's number three.
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Number four is to recognize that you're playing the long game.
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You are playing the long game.
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Okay, so in one meeting you didn't have your work showcased as much, but you know what?
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Another meeting is coming and then there'll be another meeting after that and God grant
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you as many years as you want.
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Another meeting will come, 20 meetings will come, 30 minutes meetings will come and different
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people will be showcased at different rates.
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You're playing the long game.
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You do not allow one meeting to get you down to where you quit on yourself or you quit
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on your work because you are playing the long game.
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Okay, number five is that in the grand scheme of life, these few days that you're at your
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annual meeting will be part of the things that just kind of disappear in the wash.
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Yeah, when you really think about it, these days are not going to be remembered.
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Oh, do you remember, imagine you at 90, you're looking back and you're like, do you remember
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that annual meeting when I had nothing in the program book and my name didn't even
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appear?
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Yeah, that's just going to be, it's just going to, it's going to come out in the wash.
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It's not going to be a significant event in your life.
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And to be honest, if you were featured widely in the program book, it may not be that important
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either because in your life, there are so many things that are more consequential than
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how many things you presented at the annual meeting.
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So in the grand scheme of life, these few days, they're actually not critical.
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They are not that relevant.
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And so if you're having trouble, if you're struggling in any way, just fast forward 40
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years into the future and look back up on this day and ask your 90 year old self, however,
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however old you would be 40, 50 years from now, and ask yourself if this day is relevant
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in the grand scheme.
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And I think you'll find that the answer is probably no.
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Okay.
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Number six is, oh my goodness, it's time to enjoy the meeting.
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You came here to reconnect with old friends.
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You came here to make new ones.
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You came here for networking.
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You came here to have a great time.
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You should do that.
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You should reconnect with old friends.
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You should have a great time.
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You should go out with colleagues to eat.
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You should meet in the cafe.
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You should just do things and you should have a great time.
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Stop reading the program book.
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I mean, you know, you should learn something.
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I hope you're here to learn something.
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I hope you came to the meeting to learn something, but definitely make the most of these opportunities
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to reconnect with colleagues that you're not going to see again, probably till the next
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annual meeting or maybe the meeting beyond that.
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So definitely don't let the Grinch steal your experience.
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Reconnect with old friends and have a great time.
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Okay.
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Number seven is that you should kick back and relax.
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So I will tell you that when I come to my annual meeting, I usually do not bring any
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member of my family with me.
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I have a whole bed to myself and wow, the room is so quiet.
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It's so awesome.
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It's a time for me to just chill.
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It's a time for me sometimes actually to go to bed early because it's like, wow, when
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else in my life do I have a chance to rest and rest as much as possible?
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And so whenever you can kick back and relax.
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And in fact, I have to tell you, the American Society of Hematology is so awesome.
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They have so many amazing things at the annual meeting and it is such an opportunity to just
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get some things done.
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Go grab some swag, go talk to some industry representatives, look around and see what's
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at the exhibits.
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There's a lot of great things.
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And I will tell you that at our annual meeting this year, you know, they're doing free headshots.
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Okay, so they did that last year.
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I didn't take advantage of it last year, but I took advantage of this year.
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You know, you always want a great headshot.
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Sometimes it takes a few years of headshots to find a headshot that you really like.
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And kick back and enjoy the meeting.
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Everything that has been crafted to help you have a great time, kick back and enjoy it.
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Go to the gym.
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Oh my goodness, there you are in a hotel and there's access to a gym and maybe you're not
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a regular at the gym at home.
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Well, this is an opportunity or there's a pool and it's heated.
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Take advantage of it.
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There are so many amazing things to enjoy at the annual meeting that are relevant to
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the meeting itself or sometimes tangential to the meeting.
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And if you are not enjoying them, not having a great time, not maximizing your time away
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from your usual responsibilities, then you're not enjoying the meeting as you should.
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And so part of overcoming the annual meeting blues is actually having a great meeting.
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Okay.
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Those are seven things that I talked about.
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Number one, take a deep breath and remember that it is all an illusion.
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This too will pass.
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Didn't exist before.
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Now it will not exist following this meeting.
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It is an illusion.
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Number two, recognize that comparing yourself with anyone else is a losing strategy.
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Do not do it.
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Number three, reconnect with the value of your work.
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It's always going to be important.
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Even after the meeting is over, before the meeting was important, it will always be important.
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That's number three.
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Number four, recognize that you're here to play the long game.
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One meeting is just one meeting.
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There'll be 300 meetings after that.
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Okay.
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If it's an annual meeting, maybe you just have 30 or maybe you just have 40 left.
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I don't know.
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But recognize that you're playing the long game.
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Number five, in the grand scheme of life, these few days are not relevant.
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Fast forward to your future.
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Look back and recognize that you know what?
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These few days do not count in the big scheme of things.
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Number six, make sure you're reconnecting with old friends.
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Number seven, kick back, relax, have a great time.
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Okay.
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This is the point at which I say if you've been hearing extraneous noises, it's because
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you know what?
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My quiet hotel room is not really quiet and there are a lot of noises that come through
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on the microphone.
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And if you didn't hear them, then kudos to my editor who got rid of all the noises.
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All right.
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It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
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Please share this with someone who's coming back from an annual meeting and having the
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annual meeting blues and just remind them that, hey, your work is valuable.
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And this one too will pass.
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Okay.
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It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
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I look forward to talking with you again next time, resuming our regular programming and
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get back from the annual meeting.
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All right.
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You all take care and thank you for listening.
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Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast, where academic
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clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they
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have a mentor.
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If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.
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Someone else needs to hear it.
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So take a minute right now and share it.
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As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation
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of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.