How you too can love the academic career you have

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,860 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills 2 00:00:05,860 --> 00:00:11,260 to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. 3 00:00:11,260 --> 00:00:17,340 As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients. 4 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:22,380 When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find 5 00:00:22,380 --> 00:00:27,780 that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research 6 00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:29,200 program. 7 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:35,480 Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit. 8 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:40,580 However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs. 9 00:00:40,580 --> 00:00:46,200 For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:51,800 the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor. 11 00:00:51,800 --> 00:01:01,240 Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene. 12 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,760 Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast. 13 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,960 I'm your host, Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is an absolute pleasure to be talking with you today. 14 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:13,700 I'm super excited to bring you today's episode, and I'm talking today about how you too can 15 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:19,160 love your academic career, how you too can love your academic career. 16 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:24,720 And when I've said this in certain spaces, people look at me funny, and they're like, 17 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,200 wait a minute, academic careers are not about love. 18 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,040 And I just want to say that I think they could be. 19 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,760 I think they could be, and I want you to not tune out. 20 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,660 I want you to pause and listen and just hear what I have to tell you. 21 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:40,620 But I always like to start with the beginnings of my academic career. 22 00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:43,340 And to be honest, let's go all the way back to my training. 23 00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:45,440 I felt so lucky to get into medical school. 24 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,880 I don't know about you. 25 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:52,360 I was an international student who wanted to be a physician in the United States. 26 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:57,480 And people told me, frankly, it's going to be hard because people who are American citizens 27 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,120 are not able to get in. 28 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,120 You're coming from another country. 29 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,800 It's going to be so hard for you. 30 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,680 And so that's the mindset that I had going into the process was that, wow, this is going 31 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,280 to be so hard for me. 32 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:10,360 And so getting in was like, oh, wow, I'm so lucky. 33 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,360 I'm so fortunate. 34 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,760 OK, never mind that I did put in the work. 35 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:14,760 I got the grades. 36 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,280 I aced the tests. 37 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,800 I did all the things I was supposed to do. 38 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:23,360 But I recognize that working hard is not necessarily the ticket to success. 39 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,680 So that was good fortune along my path as well. 40 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:31,920 But I certainly came to medical school and my whole academic career from the beginning 41 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,320 with this sense of, I'm so lucky to be here. 42 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,100 I'm so lucky to be here. 43 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,280 I'm so lucky to be here. 44 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:44,080 And in reality, I should have always had that sense of good fortune. 45 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,360 And I think everything I have was given to me. 46 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:52,560 And so I believe in that sense of gratitude, of being grateful for what you've been given. 47 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,880 But one of the dark side of that is this sense of, well, now that I'm just so lucky to be 48 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,240 here, I don't want people to wake up and find out that they don't think I'm supposed to 49 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,240 be here. 50 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:05,200 So I'll just take whatever I'm given without argument, without complaint. 51 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:09,640 And added to that is the whole culture of medicine where it's like, oh, I'll just go 52 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,200 wherever they take me. 53 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,240 We feel like we're begging to get into medical school. 54 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,280 We feel like we're begging to get into residency programs. 55 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,000 We feel like we're begging to get into fellowship. 56 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,320 And so to be honest, when we come to our faculty careers, we're not thinking, oh, great, now 57 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,720 I'm going to be the one in the driver's seat. 58 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,600 No, we've been begging for years. 59 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,800 And so we come to our faculty career sometimes with that same begging mindset. 60 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,360 Like I am so lucky that you're taking me on as faculty. 61 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,560 And because of that, it's all backward. 62 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:43,280 And many times we take on things that we actually don't want to take on. 63 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,900 We accept salaries we don't really want. 64 00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:50,560 We accept positions that we're not so excited about because we feel grateful. 65 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,160 We feel we're just lucky to be here. 66 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,080 And if we don't say yes, then what are we going to do? 67 00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,460 We're going to be stuck. 68 00:03:57,460 --> 00:04:01,200 So that was my experience. 69 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,960 And maybe you resonate, but maybe you don't resonate. 70 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,840 Maybe you're like, oh, no, no, no, I've been in the driver's seat the whole time. 71 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:06,920 Well, good for you. 72 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,240 I would say that you should still listen to this episode because you might think of somebody 73 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,760 who would benefit from it. 74 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:15,360 But if you do resonate, then I think I'm speaking directly to you today. 75 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:20,040 I'm saying that we came through our training with this sense of, while you're so lucky 76 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,280 to be here, you just do what I tell you and you're going to be okay. 77 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:28,240 And when we come to our faculty careers, which honestly, academic careers are meant to be 78 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,840 created, there is not a template. 79 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,800 There is not a one size fits all. 80 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:37,640 Whoever worked for your mentor 20, 30, 40 years ago is not necessarily going to work 81 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,640 for you. 82 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:44,480 But who's going to put in the energy and the power to create what's needed, especially 83 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:49,240 if you don't even feel as if you have a say in it or you don't feel like you have ownership 84 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,840 in your academic career? 85 00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:55,920 And so for many of us, and certainly for me, when I first started, I hated my job. 86 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:01,280 In fact, honestly, if I'm going to just be honest with you, I hated my life. 87 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,560 It was so hard. 88 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,880 I wasn't afraid of working hard. 89 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,880 Don't get me wrong. 90 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,640 Working hard is not what I hated. 91 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,360 I've been working hard actually way before I got into med school. 92 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,080 Working hard is just what we do as physicians. 93 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,320 So working hard, I think, is not what we are afraid of. 94 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:23,520 But working hard at the soul sucking thing that drains our life? 95 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:27,640 Oh my gosh, that's not sustainable. 96 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:28,940 That is where I was. 97 00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:31,400 When I started, I just, I hated it. 98 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,320 I was working so hard. 99 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,960 I could never finish closing charts. 100 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:41,160 I always needed, I was always behind in reaching out to patients and updating them on their 101 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,440 lab work. 102 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:43,640 Someone was always upset. 103 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,080 I was not making my academic milestones. 104 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,080 How could I? 105 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:54,280 I was so busy and I had no framework with which to reconstruct a career that I actually 106 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,700 want or that I actually wanted. 107 00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:01,720 And so like many people, I got to a place where I was like, okay, you know what? 108 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:02,720 I tried. 109 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,520 I gave it my best shot. 110 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,720 Medicine is probably not for me. 111 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:12,660 And that is the point at which I just want to pause and say, oh no, oh no. 112 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:16,960 What a tragedy for so many of us in medicine who get to a point where we're like, you know 113 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:17,960 what? 114 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:18,960 I've tried. 115 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,080 I've given this the best years of my life. 116 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,080 It sucks. 117 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:22,080 I won out. 118 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,840 And we quit. 119 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,200 And for some of us actually, we're not quitting physically. 120 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,780 We're quietly quitting. 121 00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:30,400 We're still here, but we're totally tuned out. 122 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,160 We totally don't care anymore. 123 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,720 And we've just accepted the soul sucking experience. 124 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:39,920 So I think I'm here to say that it doesn't have to be our reality. 125 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,160 It didn't have to be my reality. 126 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,800 I didn't recognize that. 127 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:48,580 For me, I was a young mom of two children. 128 00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:52,000 At the time my second was born, my oldest was two. 129 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,720 So it was a rough time. 130 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,400 And then I was seeing patients five days a week. 131 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,360 I could never keep up with my medical charts. 132 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:02,640 And so there I was working weekends, spending time in my office, trying to close things 133 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,400 away from the family that I really wanted to be with. 134 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,800 And it just really felt like I was like, and I couldn't find the mentoring I needed or 135 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,080 I thought I needed. 136 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,480 I didn't like the projects I was working on. 137 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,800 It just felt like I was doing everything I had to. 138 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,080 And it just wasn't, it wasn't what I wanted. 139 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:26,880 So I'm here to tell you that you don't have to have a soul sucking career. 140 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:30,960 I'm here to tell you that if you hate your experience, it doesn't have to continue to 141 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,600 be true that you hate it. 142 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,100 There is a way out. 143 00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,100 There is a way out. 144 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:42,160 And so I'm inviting you to think about a different way to recreate your academic career so that 145 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:47,040 you can love what you have or so that you can create something you love and saying that 146 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,120 we are taught to be people who just accept the obligation. 147 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,920 Oh, I need to be up for a 30 hour call shift. 148 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,520 Okay, I'll do it. 149 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:59,480 And you know, kudos to physicians all over the world, shouting us out and just saying 150 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,760 we are people who will put our lives on the line to get the job done. 151 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,520 And I think that's an admirable quality. 152 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:11,880 But what if, what if we thought about our careers, not just as careers that we just 153 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,280 have to go through the motions and get to the end of the day, newsflash, there is no 154 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,640 end of the day for us ever. 155 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:23,200 But what if we could actually love what we do so that even though there's no technical 156 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:29,800 end to the day, we're exhilarated at the end, we're tired, exhilarated, not tired, crushed, 157 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,800 exhausted. 158 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,800 How can we do that? 159 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:38,640 And I want to just speak to creating the academic career that you love. 160 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,860 Okay, the first thing I want to share with you is it's important for you to decide that 161 00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:44,360 you're not going to be miserable anymore. 162 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,880 I mean, it's just, it's a funny thing. 163 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,800 You get to a place where you're super miserable and you're like, you know what, I just quit. 164 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,040 And I'm saying don't quit. 165 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:57,240 I'm saying this is the point before you quit where you're like, you know what, I don't 166 00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:01,480 want to be miserable anymore, but how can I make things change? 167 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,420 It means you're not accepting the status quo. 168 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,720 You're saying this is not the way it has to be. 169 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:11,400 And I just want to invite you, especially if you're a woman, especially if you're underrepresented 170 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:15,000 in the academy, because I feel like so many more of us get to this point where we feel 171 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,600 like it's not working. 172 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,600 It's not working. 173 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,600 Why am I still here? 174 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,920 And then we're like, okay, I'm going to quit. 175 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,880 And so I want to say, decide that you're no longer going to be miserable in academia, 176 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,800 but don't quit, not just yet. 177 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,680 Don't quit at least until you hear the end of this podcast episode. 178 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:35,040 Don't quit because there is a way out that doesn't involve quitting. 179 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:40,360 And the reality is here's the thing about your investment in medicine. 180 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:46,380 You will always make a return on your investment, but only if you wait long enough in the market. 181 00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,620 You will make the return. 182 00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:51,120 If you're a farmer and you plant seeds, it's going to grow a harvest. 183 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,880 If you're an investor and you've invested in the market and you've invested consistently, 184 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,120 you're going to have something at the end of it. 185 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:03,560 But if you pull out too quickly, you're not going to make the maximum return on the investment 186 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,560 that you can. 187 00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:09,600 I know I'm talking kind of like in the financial terms, but think about it even from the standpoint 188 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:13,020 of just planting seeds for harvest. 189 00:10:13,020 --> 00:10:19,120 If you decide I'm quitting on my farm before the season of harvest, all of that investment 190 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:20,320 goes to waste. 191 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,520 Somebody else gets that return on investment. 192 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:27,440 And that's why I'm inviting you to think about if you're miserable, the answer is not to 193 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,440 quit. 194 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,840 It is always too soon to quit. 195 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,560 I don't even know whose quotation that is. 196 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:37,560 I will find it and put it in the show notes, but it's always too soon to quit. 197 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,420 My husband's always telling me that. 198 00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:43,360 And I'm saying that if you're about to quit and you're quitting not because you're like, 199 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,240 wow, this has been a great career. 200 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:49,760 I'm so excited to now hang up my shingles and go do something else. 201 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:54,680 If that's not you, if you're like, I'm going to quit because I can't do this anymore. 202 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,600 And I'm telling you that you shouldn't quit. 203 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,400 I'm telling you that it's time to rethink and reimagine your career because you've put 204 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,000 a lot into this career. 205 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,520 You've invested so much. 206 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:10,600 And if anybody deserves to reap the rewards of every investment you have made, it is you. 207 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,760 So don't quit until you've made the return on your investment. 208 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:15,760 Don't. 209 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,520 Don't pull out of the market until you've achieved maximum returns, until you are ready 210 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,120 to say, okay, I'm ready to pull out now. 211 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,120 I've had a great career. 212 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:25,120 I've had a great ride. 213 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:30,720 So the first thing I'm asking you to do is don't be miserable anymore, but also don't 214 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:31,880 quit. 215 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,440 It's not time for quitting. 216 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,560 It's time for re-imagining your career. 217 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,460 Okay, that's the first thing. 218 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:43,800 The second thing I want to say is it's time to begin a journey of discovering what makes 219 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,640 you happy. 220 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,480 What resonates, what makes you tick, what resonates with you, what makes you hold again. 221 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:51,980 And it's a journey. 222 00:11:51,980 --> 00:11:56,080 It's a journey because if you're at the point in your career where you feel like, wow, this 223 00:11:56,080 --> 00:12:01,360 is not working, I want to quit, it's because for years, and it's usually a situation that 224 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:06,200 you've grown into over years, you've gotten used to putting yourself on the back burner, 225 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,840 putting the way you feel in the back burner just to do the things that you're supposed 226 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:10,840 to do. 227 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,880 You're used to doing what is necessary. 228 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,560 I'm just here to pay the bills. 229 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:20,540 And because of that, you've lost touch with the spark, the fire that first drove you to 230 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,480 your medical career. 231 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:26,920 And to be honest, that spark, that fire is still there. 232 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:32,640 Yes, its embers may be dying and the coals may be actually a little bit cold to the touch, 233 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,280 but the fire is still burning inside you. 234 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:41,000 And what you really need to do is to stoke the embers and add a little bit more fuel 235 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:46,720 and put a few more logs on the fire so that you find that the fire is rekindled again. 236 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,200 But that doesn't happen naturally. 237 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,580 It's going to take time. 238 00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:51,580 It's going to take work. 239 00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:53,200 And you might need a coach. 240 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,240 And I would love to coach and support you in this journey. 241 00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:03,880 But what I'm saying and what's so important is that you begin the journey of rediscovering 242 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:09,280 why you came into academia, what the dream was when you said, I'm not going to go into 243 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,280 private practice. 244 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:12,160 I'm not going to go into industry. 245 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,120 I want to do this thing called academia. 246 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,800 What did you think was going to come out of it for you? 247 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,040 What was the promise? 248 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,880 What was the drive? 249 00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,080 You've got to go back to that place. 250 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,160 And I know for some of you, you're so burned out. 251 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:25,160 You're so angry. 252 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,480 You're like, no, I'm done. 253 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,560 I don't know. 254 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,080 I'm not revisiting that place. 255 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,080 It's too painful. 256 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,840 And I just want to encourage you to do the work. 257 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:34,840 It is hard work. 258 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,560 And yes, there is pain. 259 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,280 And yes, there might be tears. 260 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,480 And yes, there might be regret. 261 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:46,680 That is absolutely worth the work to go back and remember what made you so excited about 262 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,060 academia. 263 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:49,920 Remember what fueled your fire. 264 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:56,040 Remember what made you say, this is the place for me because that is the beginning of the 265 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,400 journey of creating the academic career you've always wanted to. 266 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,440 You've put your life on the back burner. 267 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,640 You've done all the stuff you're supposed to do. 268 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:07,520 You've done obligation. 269 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,800 And now it's time to do what you love. 270 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,480 And to be honest, it doesn't matter where you are in your career. 271 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,800 You're like, well, I'm not yet senior faculty. 272 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,640 So maybe I'm senior faculty. 273 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,700 No, it's today. 274 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:20,360 Maybe you're junior faculty. 275 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,800 I hate that term. 276 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,240 Let's say early career faculty. 277 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,320 I think it's a little bit better because it's a sense that you're not enough, but you are 278 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,320 enough. 279 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,280 You may be early on in your career, but you are enough. 280 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:38,320 And at any point in your career, even as a trainee, you get to decide what your career 281 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:39,320 means to you. 282 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:43,480 You get to decide to have a meaningful career, even if you haven't, as people would like 283 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,480 to say, earned it. 284 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:45,880 Yeah, I don't even know what that means. 285 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,720 What does it mean to earn it? 286 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:54,760 Yeah, you may have to put in work, but it's not OK anymore to live in the academy in a 287 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,720 way that's not consistent with yourself, with your inner values, with the things that align 288 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,720 or the things that bring you joy. 289 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,640 If you're having a joyless experience, it's not OK. 290 00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:08,680 And you don't have to wait until you're a senior faculty member to start to figure out 291 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,620 what is going to make you happy. 292 00:15:10,620 --> 00:15:13,340 Because to be honest, sometimes that's kind of late. 293 00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:14,340 Sometimes that's kind of late. 294 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:18,420 So I'm just saying wherever you are, do the work. 295 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:24,040 Start the journey of figuring out what resonates with you, what brought you to academic medicine 296 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,720 in the first place. 297 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:31,000 The third thing I'm inviting you to do is to find the people who are having a great 298 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000 time. 299 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:36,580 OK, I have to tell you that everybody in academic medicine is not miserable. 300 00:15:36,580 --> 00:15:41,720 In the faculty standpoint engagement survey from the AAMC and the one I think about is 301 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:47,080 the one from 2010, when they did the survey and they asked people, how satisfied are you 302 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,320 with the medical school? 303 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:53,660 Only 60 percent of faculty said they were satisfied or very satisfied. 304 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:57,160 That left 40 percent of faculty who were very dissatisfied. 305 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:02,640 OK, 40 percent is a big number, but 60 percent is also a big number. 306 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,620 And the number of people who are very satisfied, I want to know who these people are. 307 00:16:06,620 --> 00:16:08,160 What are they doing? 308 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,940 And so I want to invite you, if you are at the point where you're like, I want to quit, 309 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:13,840 this is not working for me. 310 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:18,320 Before you do that, I want you to go out and find the people who are having a blast. 311 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,960 And yes, they do exist. 312 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,440 You may not know them because you might be in the circles where people are having an 313 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:29,240 equally miserable time celebrating each other in their misery, patting each other in the 314 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:33,120 back and wanting to continue to revel in misery. 315 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,120 This is not to cast aspersions on your company, on the company that you keep. 316 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,460 I'm just saying that misery tends to love company. 317 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:44,760 And if you can't find someone yet who loves their academic career, it's because they're 318 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:49,880 not in the company that you're keeping in the state that you're in in your career. 319 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,960 So I want to invite you to go find people who seem to be having a good time. 320 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:53,960 And here's the thing. 321 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,040 Here's the thing about life and certainly the thing about academia. 322 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,600 It's hard to hide when you're miserable. 323 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,600 It's hard. 324 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,040 I mean, to be honest, you can you can kind of distract people by being super successful. 325 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:08,640 And you're like, oh, yeah, I have so many papers published a year. 326 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:09,640 I have so many grants. 327 00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,520 And people are like people are distracted by all the things you've you've you've gotten. 328 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:16,160 Oh, but they can see that you're not happy. 329 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,160 They can see. 330 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,920 And to be honest, it shows up in your attitude. 331 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,160 It shows up in the way you treat people. 332 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,920 It shows up in the way you treat yourself. 333 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,080 So if you're not having a great time, people can tell. 334 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:28,520 But they probably are too respectful to tell you because, hey, you have all the stuff. 335 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,040 It's like, well, you know, you got all of it. 336 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,680 So I guess we're not going to begrudge you that. 337 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:36,920 The reality is you can tell when people are actually having a great time. 338 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,800 You can tell people who are not. 339 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:43,600 So I'm inviting you to go looking for the people who seem to be having a great time. 340 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,600 They're there. 341 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,160 We're here in academic medicine. 342 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:50,440 If you just look up long enough from being focused on the challenges you're going through 343 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:55,800 to say who seems to be having a good time and go after those people and find out what 344 00:17:55,800 --> 00:18:01,440 they're doing differently from what you're doing. 345 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:05,280 Find out what they're doing that's different from what you're doing. 346 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,120 And I don't want you to stop and say, well, of course, they've been here 30 years. 347 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,000 Of course, they're loving their career. 348 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,720 It is not a function of time in the academy. 349 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,480 It's a function of their approach to life. 350 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,560 They're thinking about their career in a way that's different from how you're thinking 351 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,960 about your career. 352 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:29,160 They have habits that support them in a way that you may not have habits. 353 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,080 There is a system that helps people succeed. 354 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:36,240 I'm going to stop here for a little bit and just help you recognize that if you see someone 355 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:41,880 who's succeeding the academy, doing all the stuff and happy in their job, it does not 356 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,040 happen by accident. 357 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:46,040 This is not like I was born on the happy side of life. 358 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:49,240 It's an intentional curated experience. 359 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,360 People who succeed, they're happy, they're whole. 360 00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:56,640 They have good marriages, good relationships, good experiences with their families, with 361 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,760 their children. 362 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:00,440 They have good relationships with people they work with. 363 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,440 It is not an accident. 364 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,000 It is an intentional curated strategy. 365 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000 I will tell you the truth. 366 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:11,320 I have not yet met anybody who's over successful and happy, who just kind of found themselves 367 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,320 there. 368 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:13,320 Here's the challenge. 369 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,320 You've got to do this work. 370 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:19,000 You've really got to help people because some people forget what investments they made to 371 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,160 get them to where they are. 372 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,320 They forget. 373 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,180 They forget the challenges. 374 00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:24,720 They forget the problems they have. 375 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:30,680 They don't share with you how many problems they had because they bury those deep inside. 376 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:36,640 But what they don't share is the investments that they made to become who they are and 377 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:38,040 to be happy. 378 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,300 Happiness is not an accident. 379 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:43,800 It's not something that you just find and you're like, oh, wow, I'm happy in my career. 380 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,120 It's something that's created. 381 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:51,200 In going out and looking for people who are happy in their careers, what you're doing 382 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:57,000 is you're asking people to give you their secret sauce. 383 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,540 And that's what I'm inviting you to do. 384 00:19:58,540 --> 00:20:02,900 Look up, find the people who are having a great time and go ask them how they're making 385 00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:03,900 it work. 386 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,480 Okay. 387 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:10,580 The fourth thing I want to share with you is that you've got to create or find a community 388 00:20:10,580 --> 00:20:15,640 that supports joyous living within the academy. 389 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:22,160 You've got to create or find a community that supports joyous living within the academy. 390 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,640 Okay. 391 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,360 Not everybody is happy in the academy. 392 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,480 We've established that. 393 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,520 You might be one of those people who are not very happy because you're on the verge of 394 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,520 quitting. 395 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,860 But I'm saying that there are people who are and you want to be part of their communities. 396 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,380 You want to figure out where they hang out. 397 00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:39,760 You want to figure out what communities they frequent. 398 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,580 You want to figure out where they go and you want to go hang out with them or you want 399 00:20:43,580 --> 00:20:45,380 to create your own community. 400 00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:49,380 And this is so important because I think one of the challenges for us in academia is that 401 00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:51,400 there is a lot of isolation. 402 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,400 We're struggling. 403 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,400 We're having challenges. 404 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:54,560 We're not telling people about it. 405 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,720 We're showing a bright face when we go out. 406 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,720 But the reality is we're miserable and we're lonely. 407 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,720 We're isolated. 408 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:06,720 The moment we find communities of like-minded people who reject the status quo, who want 409 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:10,440 to do life differently, it changes our experience. 410 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,820 And because it transforms our experience, it is worth the investment. 411 00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:17,240 It's absolutely worth the investment to go looking. 412 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,240 And here's the thing. 413 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,880 It may not be within your division. 414 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,280 It may not be within your department. 415 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,620 It may not even be at your institution. 416 00:21:24,620 --> 00:21:26,520 The world is such a small place now. 417 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,460 You can connect with communities globally. 418 00:21:29,460 --> 00:21:32,720 You can connect with communities nationally. 419 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,880 Our community meets every Monday at 6 p.m. 420 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,480 You know, it's a community. 421 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:38,480 It's virtual. 422 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,080 We're not meeting in person, but we're able to create a community. 423 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:46,400 We're able to meet and write together, you know, during the week. 424 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,640 Communities exist. 425 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:52,400 You may not know about them, but it's an opportunity to find out what those communities are. 426 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:56,760 I'll say apart from our coaching community, Clinician Researcher Academy, one community 427 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:01,080 that has been such a nourishment to me and to be honest, I'm still part of is the Faculty 428 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,640 Success Program with the National Center for Faculty Development and Diversity that was 429 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,060 founded by Carrie Ann Rockimore. 430 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,880 That has been an amazing community for me. 431 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:12,860 And to be honest, it's not a community really for clinicians. 432 00:22:12,860 --> 00:22:16,800 It's not oriented towards clinicians, but it's been such a game changing community for 433 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:21,280 me where I both coach and I'm coached in that community. 434 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:25,280 And so there are communities that exist of people who've decided they want a different 435 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,120 experience in academia. 436 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:32,060 And I want you to get up and go find a community to be a part of. 437 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:37,080 And if you're not part, if you can't find it, create your own. 438 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,080 Create it. 439 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:41,680 I'm creating a community of like minded people. 440 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:46,080 And then you'll have the community that you always wanted, but never had because you didn't 441 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,960 know you could create it. 442 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:54,720 So find and or create the community that you've always wanted, that you need to support you 443 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,880 in creating a career that you love. 444 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,560 The fifth thing I want to tell you is that you've got to be courageous because you're 445 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:07,720 taking bold steps on the road not traveled, right, or the road less traveled. 446 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:13,520 If you're going to take back your experience, if you're going to become to begin to build 447 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:18,480 an academic career that you actually want, you're going to find yourself in the minority. 448 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:23,280 And being a minority in whatever way you're a minority, many times it sucks because it 449 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,640 feels lonely. 450 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,440 It feels like you're going against the grain. 451 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:30,800 It feels like you are, you know, like, oh, doing your own thing. 452 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,560 It's a hard journey and it takes courage. 453 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:37,200 It takes courage not to go back to what everybody else is doing. 454 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:41,100 It takes courage not to say, let me just grin and bear it one more time. 455 00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:47,000 It takes courage to say, I'm going to forge ahead on a path that may not even be supported 456 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,480 on a path that people may call me out and say, what are you doing? 457 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,440 We don't do that here. 458 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,440 It takes courage. 459 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,600 And I want to tell you that if you're a physician, if you're an academic clinician, if you're 460 00:23:56,600 --> 00:24:01,800 a scientist, whatever you are listening to me, or whoever you are listening to me, you 461 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,920 have what it takes to succeed. 462 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:04,920 You absolutely do. 463 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,800 Don't let anybody lie to you. 464 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:08,240 Don't let them tell you you're a clinician. 465 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,200 You can never be a scientist. 466 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,200 Don't let them tell you you're a scientist. 467 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,480 You can never understand, you know, things from the clinical perspective. 468 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,320 You can do whatever you want because you're so capable. 469 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:24,640 And especially from my community, those of you who are physicians, who are clinicians, 470 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:29,600 holy cow, you've come through like one of the most strenuous like training programs 471 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,520 ever in becoming a physician. 472 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:35,840 And if you could do that, oh my gosh, of course you can do anything. 473 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,120 The question is not can you do it? 474 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,640 The question is do you want to? 475 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:46,200 Are you hungry enough to go after what you want? 476 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,500 Because what you want is worth fighting for. 477 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:53,760 What you want is worth going after. 478 00:24:53,760 --> 00:25:00,920 And I invite you to step into the space to create the career that you love because only 479 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,680 you can be the architect of this career. 480 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:09,680 Only you can create the masterpiece that only if you decide that you're going to step into 481 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:13,920 the space of becoming the artist. 482 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,200 If anybody else is painting on your canvas, they're doing it half-hazardly because they 483 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,800 have no idea of the artist's intent. 484 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:25,720 But if you are the artist, the architect of your career, if you would step into that role 485 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:31,800 courageously and you can build intentionally, you can build directionally, you can begin 486 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:36,040 to create a career that you actually want. 487 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,560 And I'll tell you this, no joke, it will take you time. 488 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:43,620 It takes time from the investment to receiving the return on your investment. 489 00:25:43,620 --> 00:25:49,240 And up until now, honestly, you've been investing in misery because if you're miserable now, 490 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,680 it's because it's the investment you've been making. 491 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,600 You've been doing the things you don't want to do. 492 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,020 You've been showing up in the places you don't want to show up in. 493 00:25:56,020 --> 00:26:00,840 You've been doing the stuff out of obligation and look at where it's gotten you. 494 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:07,540 And so what if you paused and you started to sow different seeds in your career experience? 495 00:26:07,540 --> 00:26:13,000 What if you decided that, oh, okay, I'm going to start planting different seeds, seeds that 496 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,000 I want to see germinate. 497 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,000 You can plant seeds of joy. 498 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:19,960 I'm going to plant seeds of courage and commitment. 499 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,640 I'm going to do something different. 500 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,840 What if you make that decision? 501 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:30,700 What kind of career could you have at the end of all of that? 502 00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:35,840 I am excited for you because you've listened to this episode, because this is the day your 503 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:38,240 life changes forever. 504 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:43,200 This is the day you stop accepting the status quo of misery and you take ownership of the 505 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,600 career that you want. 506 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,640 Yes, it's going to take time. 507 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,920 It's going to be challenging, but you can make it. 508 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:54,080 And I'm inviting you to step into the space to make it work for you. 509 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,080 All right. 510 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,280 It has been a pleasure talking with you today. 511 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,680 I'm going to recap, actually. 512 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,080 Sometimes my viewers, my listeners are like, wait a minute, you didn't recap. 513 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:04,080 I missed all you said. 514 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,080 Okay, I'm recapping. 515 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:08,720 Number one, decide that you're not going to be miserable anymore. 516 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,520 Number two, look deep inside to find what resonates with you. 517 00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,920 Number three, find other people who seem to be having a good time and figure out what 518 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:16,280 they're doing that you're not. 519 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,360 Number four, find and or create your own community. 520 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:24,720 Number five, be courageous in taking those steps to get there. 521 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,440 It has been an absolute pleasure talking with you today. 522 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:32,560 I hope that you're going to make a difference in your careers by taking steps today to start 523 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,600 making the investment that you absolutely want to make in your own career. 524 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,520 It's been a pleasure talking with you today. 525 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,240 Thank you so much for your time. 526 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:49,320 I look forward to talking with you again. 527 00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:54,720 Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast, where academic 528 00:27:54,720 --> 00:28:00,440 clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they 529 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:01,500 have a mentor. 530 00:28:01,500 --> 00:28:07,480 If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself. 531 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,360 Someone else needs to hear it. 532 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:13,400 So take a minute right now and share it. 533 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:18,880 As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation 534 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:24,920 of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.