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Nov. 9, 2024
Things you should never do
As clinician scientists, we sometimes feel that the end justifies the means. However, in reality, there are some things we do that absolutely do not serve us or our research program. In this episode, we discuss 7 things that we may love to do but should never do.
Key points
- Don’t Worry About the Future
- Constantly worrying about the unknown only pulls you away from the present. Instead, focus on what you can do today.
- Avoid Regretting the Past
- Regret keeps you stuck in what could’ve been. Learn from past experiences, but remember that looking forward is the key to progress.
- Stop Wondering “Why”
- Questioning why things happened as they did can trap you in a loop of overthinking. Accept what’s out of your control and use that energy to take actionable steps.
- Skip the Arguments
- Arguing rarely changes minds and only wastes valuable time. Seek constructive discussions and focus on solutions rather than getting stuck in conflicts.
- Don’t Work with People You Don’t Like
- Working with people who drain your energy or clash with your values can make every day feel like a struggle. Surround yourself with supportive, like-minded people whenever possible.
- Don’t Leave It Up to Someone Else
- If it matters to you, take ownership. Relying on others for key decisions can lead to disappointment and lost opportunities.
- Avoid Working Hard at Unproductive Tasks
- Effort without impact is wasted energy. Identify tasks that drive results and let go of the ones that don’t make a meaningful difference.
Key Takeaways:
- Shifting your focus from these “don’ts” can give you more energy, clarity, and peace.
- Let go of actions and mindsets that hold you back from living fully in the present.
Sponsor/Advertising/Monetization Information:
This episode is sponsored by Coag Coach LLC, a leading provider of coaching resources for clinicians transitioning to become research leaders. Coag Coach LLC is committed to supporting clinicians in their scholarship.
Looking for a coach?
Sign up for a coaching discovery call today: https://www.coagcoach.com/service-page/consultation-call-1
Transcript
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills
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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.
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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find
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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research
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program.
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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.
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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.
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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians
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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today.
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Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Today I'm talking about seven things you should never do.
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Seven things you should never do.
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I will say that when I first started my faculty career, I assumed everything was fair game,
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right?
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The end justifies the means.
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You work super hard, you push, push, push hard, and you make sure you do all these things
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so that you can get the prize at the end.
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And one of the things that's challenging is that when you try to define exactly what is
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the prize that you're gunning for, it is so much harder in your faculty role than it was
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really at any point during your career, right?
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And so when you think about your training, medical school, like getting into medical
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school was the goal.
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Very clear goal.
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You're gunning towards it.
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You get in, you know you win.
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And then graduating medical school, that's a goal.
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And getting into residency, that's another goal.
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Getting into a fellowship program, that's another goal.
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Getting a faculty role, that's another goal.
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Well, you have to become a faculty member.
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The goal becomes less and less clear.
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Is it achieve promotion?
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I mean, it's usually not like a clear goal that everyone's gunning for.
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It could be one.
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When you look at it, there's so many things that you could accomplish as a faculty member
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that there are many goals you could set.
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You could set, you know, be the best master clinician, for example.
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Or you could decide that you're going to get, you know, the biggest research grants.
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And one of the challenges with that is that, you know, the goalpost keeps moving.
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Congratulations, you got your K, what about your R?
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Oh, congratulations, you have your R. What about your next R?
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Oh, congratulations, you have only one R. What about, you know, three R's?
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Oh, congratulations, now you've got three R's, what about the U?
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So there's always the next thing and the next thing and the next thing such that there's
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not really one big goal that you're accomplishing where it feels like, okay, you're now done.
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Congratulations, you've accomplished Nirvana as a faculty member.
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And that's why the reason is that the journey is so much more important.
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Actually, the journey has always been important throughout your training.
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But even more so as a faculty member where there's not one big goal, the journey matters
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a lot.
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And so the whole idea of the end justifying the means is a little bit false because it's
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like, so what end exactly are you gunning for?
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And it's important to recognize the journey.
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So in the spirit of that, there are some things that you don't do because you realize that
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you want to live a holistic life.
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When you live a holistic life, you want to have an experience that you can look back
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on and enjoy and appreciate and say, well, you know, this was a life well lived.
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I made good contributions and I, you know, was true to myself and true to my values in
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the process.
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And that's why I think there are some things that we should never do.
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I'm going to talk about seven of them.
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Okay.
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So number one is never, never, never, never worry about the future.
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Okay.
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Now, this is one of those where it's like, what do you mean?
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We're always worrying about the future.
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And I agree, it's a cultural thing.
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If you're an academician, you're always worrying about the future.
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When am I going to get this grant funded?
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When is the money going to come through?
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When are they going to review it?
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Am I ever going to get funded?
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What's going to happen if things don't work out?
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What's going to happen if I can't fund my research?
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How am I going to move forward?
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There's so many things that we could worry about.
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And at the end of the day, we have no control over the future.
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What we do have control over is the way we show up in the present.
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But here's a challenge about worrying about the future is that we go into the future to
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worry and then we become absent from the present in which we can actually make a difference.
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So while I have no control over whether they will fund my grant that I submitted last year,
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what I do have control over is how I prepare to submit the next grant or how I move forward
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in a different way, which continues to increase the chances that I continue to be funded.
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I have control over that.
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But when I'm absent from the present all the way in the future, worrying about something
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over which I have no control, fretting, being anxious, nervous, stressed, and I'm not here
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in the presence, in the present, making the difference that I can make to affect the future.
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And so the end result of that is that the uncertain future I don't want, I'm actually
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creating that by being absent from my present.
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And it's the same with that really in everything in life.
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It's not just about grant funding.
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The more I worry about the future, will funding be cut?
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Will there be any money?
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Will this institute go away?
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Will my research die?
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All those activities that go to the future to worry and then allow you to become absent
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from actually making the difference in the present.
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All of them, all of them.
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Will my child make it to college?
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Will my child be potty trained?
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What will happen when my parents become 80 years old?
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All of those things are in the bucket of things you should never do.
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And I say that recognizing that we're always doing that.
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We're always worrying.
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We're always anxious.
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We're always afraid.
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And to be honest, it's kind of popular to do that.
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You gather in a room and people are talking about what's going to happen tomorrow.
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We don't know.
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And this might happen.
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And I have to say that it is a discipline that I'm working really hard to practice of
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being absent from those scenarios where people focus so much on the future.
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They're so paralyzed and anxious and worried and afraid.
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They cannot be present in the present.
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And so I want to invite you to think about your present and ask yourself, in what ways
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am I moving forward to the future and being absent from the present where I can really
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make a difference?
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In what ways am I allowing my fear of the future to hinder my activity, my action in
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the present?
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I want to invite you to work towards the discipline of not allowing the future to interfere with
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today.
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Okay?
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That's number one.
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Never, never, never, never worry about the future.
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Along the same vein is number two.
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Never worry about the past.
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Okay.
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This one may actually truly be worse than worrying about the future because, you know,
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it's like you're going forward into a future you don't know.
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You're making up disaster that has not yet existed.
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And so doing the work that you need to do to move forward, but in regretting the past,
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wow, that's like a double whammy because you've already lived and maybe you've done something
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wrong or something hasn't worked out.
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You missed the deadline of a really important grant that maybe would have allowed you to
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be funded six months from now.
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And now you're like, I'm scrambling.
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I have no funding.
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And so now you're spending a lot of time in the past, but you already, it's already done.
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You have no control over going and undoing it.
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You can't do that.
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But here you are spending so much time beating yourself up over what you did instead of showing
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yourself compassion, forgiving yourself and moving forward.
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And so I think regretting the past actually is worse than going forward to the future.
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Actually, to be honest, I think they're both equally bad because they rob you of today.
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They rob you of your ability to make an investment in the present right this moment.
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They rob you of your agency to act and make a difference.
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You can't go to the past and undo it.
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You can't change your experience with a mentor.
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You cannot change the way you responded to something.
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You wish you had only written a grant a different way, or maybe you wish you'd never in the
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grant at all.
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None of that helps you in moving forward.
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What does help you is to make a plan and to move forward in the present.
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Similarly to worrying about the future, worrying about the past, regretting the past is a waste
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of time.
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It's a waste of your time and it drains your energy and it keeps you from showing up today
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so that what you're doing when you go back to regret the past so that you're setting
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yourself up for this never ending cycle of regretting the past, right?
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As long as you're regretting the past, you're always going to be in the past, never really
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making progress towards the future so that you'll always have something to regret, right?
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You spend all the time regretting the past.
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What you're doing is you're creating a ladder of regrets that you will never be able to
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fix until you decide that you can let go of the past and you're going to focus on the
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agency that you have and applying that to the present to change the future, to make
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the future different, to make different decisions than decisions that you've made in the past.
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So number two thing to never do is never regret the past.
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Instead acknowledge the past, take a few minutes to mourn the past and the challenges you've
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had or the regrets that you've had and then advance, advance by investing in today.
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All right.
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That's number two, never regret the past.
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Number three is never wonder why, never wonder why.
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What does that mean?
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Hmm.
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I wonder why the reviewer did blah, blah, blah.
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I wonder why they didn't move me to this particular study section.
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I wonder why they didn't fund me.
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I wonder why that manuscript was not accepted.
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Now I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention to, okay, how do I do things differently?
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It's different from wondering why.
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Wondering why is why you spend so much time reminiscing and trying to put your head in
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somebody else's head to say, okay, this must be why they hated my grant.
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It's because I'm a woman.
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Oh no, it's because disparities are, I mean, this person must, this study section must
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be racist, therefore they don't believe in my work.
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Those are all things that you just don't know.
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You don't know.
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And you know, I have to tell you that I've done this so much.
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This is why I say never do it because now I've done it.
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Now I feel like nobody should do it, right?
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But I spend so much time making up a story as to why something didn't work out.
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And I don't know.
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I really don't know.
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And it really takes grace and humility to come to a point where you're like, wait a
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minute, I don't know why.
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I don't know why they didn't fund me.
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Yes, I know the reviewer listed these five points.
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I don't know.
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And it doesn't help to try to wonder or make up a reason or imagine a big bad reason why
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they couldn't fund me.
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But what I can do is to say, hmm, how can I find out?
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So if you have the review before you, okay, take it at face value.
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Seek solicit help from other people.
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You're soliciting help not to imagine why, but to say, what do I do right now to address
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these comments so that this grant is fundable?
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What do I do right now to strengthen this project?
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What do I do right now to address the issues that make the project seem weak or not effective?
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Right?
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So you have power over the things you know.
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You don't have power over the things you don't know.
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And investing time and wondering why is another thing that steals your time.
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What could you do instead?
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Instead, you could get the information you need.
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If you're like, I wonder why this grant didn't receive a higher priority score.
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Guess who can tell you?
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The program officer who may or may not have attended the study section may be able to
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tell you.
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And maybe they can't tell you.
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They weren't there and they can just read the summary statement with you and say, well,
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this is what typically happens, right?
224
00:13:03,980 --> 00:13:06,420
But somebody can give you insight.
225
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,420
Ask that person.
226
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:11,380
And if they can't give you insight, sometimes I've been to a meeting with a program officer
227
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:16,020
who cannot tell me why nobody decided to move forward to the grant.
228
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:17,020
Right?
229
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:21,100
They could just read the study summary statement, same as I have.
230
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Just take whatever information you have and use that and where you have a gap in knowledge,
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seek to expand or seek to fill that gap.
232
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Fill the gap with knowledge to the best of your ability.
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Don't fill it with conjecture.
234
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Don't imagine.
235
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Don't join anybody to imagine things.
236
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:41,460
Don't let somebody tell you, yeah, that's what happened.
237
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Three years ago, they decided that no one was going to get funded from my university.
238
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Therefore, don't do that.
239
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Get the information you need and act on the information you need.
240
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If you don't have the information and you can't get it, then you just don't know.
241
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:58,500
And it takes a lot of humility and grace to say, I don't know.
242
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,860
And it is more powerful to say, I don't know.
243
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:03,300
And this is what I know.
244
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,980
And this is what I'm going to move forward in because this is what I know.
245
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,620
So don't spend time wondering why.
246
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:13,660
Get the information you need and move forward.
247
00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:15,820
Number four thing you should never do.
248
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Oh, my goodness.
249
00:14:19,740 --> 00:14:21,580
Never argue.
250
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:22,580
Never argue.
251
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,620
OK, I just want to put in a plug for arguing right now.
252
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:25,620
I told you never argue.
253
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:29,660
And I just want to tell you why it's so sweet to argue from my perspective.
254
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,180
It feels so good to be right.
255
00:14:31,180 --> 00:14:32,380
Oh, my goodness.
256
00:14:32,380 --> 00:14:33,700
It feels so good to be right.
257
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:40,060
And next to being right, it feels so good to work hard to convince others that you are
258
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:41,060
right.
259
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,060
Actually, to be honest, it's not even about others.
260
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:43,220
It's about me.
261
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:44,380
I want to look good.
262
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,340
I want to be right.
263
00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:48,900
So sometimes it doesn't matter what I'm being right about.
264
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:51,100
I just want to be right.
265
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,100
And that's the problem with arguments.
266
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:57,380
The problem with arguments is that there is no real goal that's actually a useful goal
267
00:14:57,380 --> 00:14:58,980
other than winning.
268
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:03,140
And you might argue that being able to say I told you so is the best.
269
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,740
Yeah, it does feel good, doesn't it?
270
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:10,660
However, the problem with arguing is that it really wastes time.
271
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It drains you.
272
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:16,140
At the end, you win, but you don't really win because you feel slimy inside.
273
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:22,380
You feel dirty, and you know what, it doesn't help whatever relationship you're in.
274
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,460
What does argument give you?
275
00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:34,500
It gives you a self-satisfying, a self-satisfied, smug feeling, but it leaves you feeling empty
276
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and it hurts relationships.
277
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That's what it does.
278
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:43,940
And at the end of argument or at the bottom of arguing is proving your point.
279
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Then you have to ask yourself what is the point of proving your point other than being
280
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right?
281
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Does it move you forward?
282
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,420
No.
283
00:15:54,420 --> 00:15:57,580
Does it allow you to make a difference?
284
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:58,580
No.
285
00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:03,060
Does it allow you to move that grant forward towards funding?
286
00:16:03,060 --> 00:16:04,060
No.
287
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:06,580
What you really want is information.
288
00:16:06,580 --> 00:16:08,300
You want advice.
289
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,060
You want strategy.
290
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:11,340
You want knowledge.
291
00:16:11,340 --> 00:16:20,100
There are very, very few things that you need that actually move you forward.
292
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:23,820
And so when you're spending time arguing a point because you want to win, then what you're
293
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:27,740
not doing is getting the information you need to move forward.
294
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:30,180
It takes a long time to argue.
295
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:33,500
And if you're arguing with someone else who's good at arguing, and to be honest, most of
296
00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:39,540
us in medicine are excellent at arguing, and you take the same point, the same information,
297
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,180
the same timeframe, and we can argue different points and argue successfully.
298
00:16:43,180 --> 00:16:47,900
It takes a long time to do that, and it takes less time.
299
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:52,860
And it's a real investment to take the information that that person has, which you don't have
300
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:57,580
yet, or the perspective that that person has is clearly different from yours, and to see
301
00:16:57,580 --> 00:17:00,340
how can I incorporate it into my project.
302
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:04,300
And the reality is what I realize now, especially with reviewers, is that no matter how wrong
303
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:09,020
they are from your perspective, they have information that you need.
304
00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:12,900
When somebody says, I can't believe that this person is applying for a grant.
305
00:17:12,900 --> 00:17:13,900
She doesn't even have a degree.
306
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:18,660
And you're like, wait a minute, how can this reviewer think I don't have a degree?
307
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660
And you're angry.
308
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:24,060
And you're like, this is a ridiculous reviewer, and all of that.
309
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:27,260
And what they're really telling you is that it wasn't explicit.
310
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,540
It was something they didn't see.
311
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,220
But it's right there in the biosketch.
312
00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:33,660
I have a degree.
313
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:37,520
And what it helps you do is recognize that, okay, well, this person didn't see it for
314
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,860
whatever reason.
315
00:17:38,860 --> 00:17:43,860
How do I highlight the fact that I have a degree in this area so the next reviewer knows
316
00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,940
that I do have a degree?
317
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:50,060
And so there is information in the differing perspective.
318
00:17:50,060 --> 00:17:55,900
And it allows you to pivot and flex and say, okay, well, how can I do this differently?
319
00:17:55,900 --> 00:18:00,420
How can I present this information in such a way that whatever was missed is no longer
320
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:02,180
missed?
321
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:06,740
Arguing over the sanity of the reviewer, whether the reviewer can read, whether they had a
322
00:18:06,740 --> 00:18:12,380
third grade education, I mean, it makes you feel good, but it doesn't move your work forward.
323
00:18:12,380 --> 00:18:19,500
And so I want to invite you to think about the discipline of accepting the present as
324
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:24,180
is, believing people when they present who they are and the information they present
325
00:18:24,180 --> 00:18:28,900
to you and moving forward.
326
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:32,260
Never argue because it's such a time weaster.
327
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,860
And at the end, the prize is hollow.
328
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:38,100
Okay, that's number four.
329
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:41,420
Number five, this one may be controversial.
330
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,260
I'm going to say never work with someone you don't like.
331
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:45,780
Never work with someone you don't like.
332
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:52,500
Now, you can argue whether there should be anybody in your life that you don't like.
333
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,580
I would say in the perfect world, you like everybody because you're so good at getting
334
00:18:55,580 --> 00:18:56,580
along with everybody.
335
00:18:56,580 --> 00:18:57,580
You're so mature.
336
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:58,580
You're so good.
337
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:01,420
And in reality, there's some people you don't get along with.
338
00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:03,180
And it could be a number of reasons.
339
00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:06,260
It could just be that you don't even know why you don't like them.
340
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:10,020
It could be that whenever they speak, it gets on your nerves.
341
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:13,540
It could be that you always feel like they're trying to control the outcome.
342
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:16,180
It could be that you never feel respected by them.
343
00:19:16,180 --> 00:19:22,700
But it's important that no matter what it is, you really consider, do I want to work
344
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:23,700
with this person?
345
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,240
Not do I have to.
346
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,200
Do I want to?
347
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:32,740
And if the answer is no, then figure out how you can not work with them.
348
00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:34,820
Better yet, figure out how you can work with someone else.
349
00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:36,820
Why is that important?
350
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:39,700
It's important because the work we do is so hard.
351
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:40,700
It is hard.
352
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:45,780
And what you always want to do is to be pushing in a direction that changes your experience.
353
00:19:45,780 --> 00:19:50,300
You always want to be pushing in a direction that moves you forward.
354
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:54,740
When you spend a lot of time massaging egos, or you spend a lot of time trying to convince
355
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:58,860
people who will never be invincible, you spend a lot of time trying to impress people who
356
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:01,020
can never be impressed.
357
00:20:01,020 --> 00:20:06,380
That's energy that you're not putting into moving your projects forward.
358
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:10,340
That's energy instead that you're putting into fighting with a person.
359
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,300
And it is not satisfying.
360
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:16,260
It is a waste, total, total, total waste of time.
361
00:20:16,260 --> 00:20:20,420
And so to the extent to which you can, don't work with people you don't like.
362
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,540
Don't say, oh, this is the only mentor in the whole university.
363
00:20:23,540 --> 00:20:25,060
I have to work with him.
364
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:29,660
Oh, do not take that energy and try to move any work forward because it does not move
365
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:30,660
work forward.
366
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,660
It frustrates you.
367
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:32,660
It makes you mad.
368
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:33,660
It makes you angry.
369
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:37,220
Maybe you've been working with this person for a while and now you're like, you know
370
00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:38,220
what?
371
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,980
I really, I really don't like this person.
372
00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:42,660
The more I work with them, the more I don't want to work with them.
373
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:44,260
It's okay.
374
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:45,260
Everything is changeable.
375
00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:47,060
They are not the only mentor in the universe.
376
00:20:47,060 --> 00:20:52,780
Yes, they may be the only person in your division who has the three R01s that looks good on
377
00:20:52,780 --> 00:20:53,780
your application.
378
00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:57,580
But who else can help you?
379
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,340
And maybe they're not in your division.
380
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:04,060
Only your greater health system or your greater academic medical center can help you.
381
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:08,420
And even looking beyond the academic medical center, I've had people who've been successful
382
00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:11,820
with mentors outside the institution.
383
00:21:11,820 --> 00:21:17,100
How do you create your experience such that you only work with people who will move you
384
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,100
forward?
385
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:21,260
And again, it's not them, it's you, right?
386
00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:25,220
The challenge is if you don't like someone, it's not because of them, it's because of
387
00:21:25,220 --> 00:21:26,220
you.
388
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:29,740
It's because there's something inside you that's triggered by them.
389
00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:34,260
And sometimes we think they're the problem, but you actually are.
390
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:40,980
And so if you don't like someone, you have to decide, do I want to do the work that changes
391
00:21:40,980 --> 00:21:44,660
me so that I can continue to work with this person?
392
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:49,700
Or do I want to invest the time doing something different that helps my project move forward?
393
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:52,180
It's a choice that we make.
394
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:58,140
But you can either decide to change yourself so that you start to work towards liking this
395
00:21:58,140 --> 00:22:04,780
person genuinely, or you don't make that change and you say, I only want to work with people
396
00:22:04,780 --> 00:22:05,780
I actually like.
397
00:22:05,780 --> 00:22:09,700
But at the end of the day, don't lie to yourself.
398
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:14,300
Don't make yourself do something you don't want to do, not in the way of working with
399
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:19,860
people, because the energy drain is energy that can be put into your projects.
400
00:22:19,860 --> 00:22:22,300
So don't work with people you don't like.
401
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:26,120
Yeah, I venture to say never work with people you don't like.
402
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:32,220
Change how you feel or change your working environment.
403
00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:33,220
Okay?
404
00:22:33,220 --> 00:22:34,220
Okay.
405
00:22:34,220 --> 00:22:37,380
Number six is never leave it up to someone else.
406
00:22:37,380 --> 00:22:38,540
Don't do it.
407
00:22:38,540 --> 00:22:40,420
Don't leave it up to someone else.
408
00:22:40,420 --> 00:22:44,140
Many times I hear faculty say, well, we'll see what they want.
409
00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:45,460
Let's see what they want.
410
00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:48,980
And at the end of the day, please don't let's see what they want, because here's the thing
411
00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:50,940
about what other people want.
412
00:22:50,940 --> 00:22:53,660
It is always changing.
413
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:55,420
And it's not subject to you.
414
00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:57,940
You're not in charge of what people want.
415
00:22:57,940 --> 00:22:59,940
You are in charge of what you want.
416
00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:04,060
And even that is hard to be in charge of because you don't know what you want.
417
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:07,340
And many times you're frankly always changing.
418
00:23:07,340 --> 00:23:08,340
And so that's you.
419
00:23:08,340 --> 00:23:12,500
And you struggle to be in charge of what you want.
420
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:16,380
And then imagine trying to flex to what other people want.
421
00:23:16,380 --> 00:23:18,140
You don't know when it's going to change.
422
00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:20,020
You don't know why it's going to change.
423
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:25,420
And so frustrating to work towards something that somebody else wants at the expense of
424
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:26,420
what you want.
425
00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:29,060
And then here's the challenge.
426
00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:31,100
You may have already experienced it.
427
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:39,020
You work so hard to meet the needs of someone else or meet their expectations.
428
00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:42,500
And then they change or you meet it and then they're like, yeah, that's not what I wanted
429
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,900
or and this still sucks.
430
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:49,740
And then you feel frustrated and angry because you invested all this time and energy to please
431
00:23:49,740 --> 00:23:52,460
someone and it didn't work out.
432
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:54,400
That's you leaning up to someone else.
433
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,540
Your career does not belong to anyone else.
434
00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:58,780
Doesn't belong to your mentor.
435
00:23:58,780 --> 00:24:03,220
They will not experience the consequences of a career that's not satisfying to you.
436
00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,300
You will.
437
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:09,660
They will not experience the consequences of a career that left you leaving your family
438
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,740
or your significant other high and dry.
439
00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:13,340
Like I was trying to make my mentor happy.
440
00:24:13,340 --> 00:24:14,740
No, no, no.
441
00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:18,660
That's why I didn't, you know, invest more time in my relationship with my spouse.
442
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:20,580
Never leave it up to someone else.
443
00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:22,660
You are in control.
444
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:25,420
You are the writer of your story.
445
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,980
You're the author and you're the programmer.
446
00:24:27,980 --> 00:24:30,940
If you don't program, things don't go forward.
447
00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:31,940
Don't say, oh, they're going to do it.
448
00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,260
They're going to look out for me.
449
00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:34,260
They're going to help me.
450
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:35,620
I'm not saying that they're not.
451
00:24:35,620 --> 00:24:37,100
I hope they do.
452
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:41,740
But even if they don't, you can control what you do.
453
00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:43,820
You can control your experience.
454
00:24:43,820 --> 00:24:47,340
And even then, you struggle to control your own experience.
455
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:52,300
Imagine now trying to control somebody else's perception of your experience.
456
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:53,820
Never leave it up to someone else.
457
00:24:53,820 --> 00:25:01,860
It is a recipe for failure and frustration and anger and a lot of failed relationships
458
00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:04,740
and failed experiences.
459
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:06,220
Take charge.
460
00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:11,020
Instead of leaving it up to someone else, ask yourself, what do I want to accomplish?
461
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:12,020
Why?
462
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:14,180
And then work.
463
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:15,180
Work towards that.
464
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:22,180
And number seven, never work hard towards things that are unproductive.
465
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:23,520
Never do that.
466
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,300
This one may be the most challenging of the seven because as physicians, we are good at
467
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:29,300
working hard.
468
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:30,940
Oh, are we good at working hard?
469
00:25:30,940 --> 00:25:32,860
It doesn't even matter what we're working hard at.
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We're just good at it.
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Let's work hard at getting this prior authorization approved.
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Oh, yes.
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And three hours later, you are still arguing and arguing and seeing your way all the way
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to the top.
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And you're like, yes, I did it.
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Six hours later, medication approved.
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I'm not saying you should fight for your patients.
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I'm not saying you shouldn't advocate for them.
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But I'm saying if something is unproductive, if at the end of six hours of working really
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00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:08,260
hard, you can't really significantly measure change that improves your experience or improves
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the change that you came to make.
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You have to ask yourself if that's the right thing to work hard at.
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The thing about prior authorization is very important is that you will always have another
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one to do.
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It's like, great, you got this medication for this patient.
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Congratulations.
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Six years of your life or six hours, feels like six years.
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And then there's the next one.
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And in reality, there are other people who have the time and the experience and maybe
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a little more strategy than you to do that maybe more efficiently.
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And in the meantime, you've been working hard at being productive at a thing that somebody
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00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,700
else could have been productive at and more efficiently.
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What you've done is you've left the things that only you can be productive at.
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Total waste of time.
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But we love the high of accomplishment.
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And sometimes we don't ask ourselves, is this the right thing to be productive in?
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00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:03,660
Is this something I want to be accomplished in at the end?
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00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:10,140
Yes, I may be really, really good at editing, but who can do it for me?
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00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:15,700
I may be really, really, really, really good at creating figures that are really nice and
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00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,660
pretty, but is this what I should be investing my time in?
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00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:23,780
Should I become really good or should I draft something and have somebody else just put
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00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:26,180
the finishing touches to it?
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00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,200
Choose what you're productive at.
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Never work hard at something that's unproductive.
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00:27:31,460 --> 00:27:35,020
And this may be one of the hard ones that's hard to undo because as physicians, we just
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00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:39,620
go to working hard, even when we shouldn't be working hard in that area.
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00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:42,100
So I just said seven things.
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00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:43,740
Seven things you should never do.
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Number one, worry about the future.
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00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,620
Number two, regret the past.
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Number three, wonder why.
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Number four, argue.
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00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,220
Number five, work with people you don't like.
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00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:52,740
Number six, leave it up to someone else.
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00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:57,640
And number seven, work hard at things that are unproductive.
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As always, it is such a pleasure to talk with you today.
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Thank you so much for tuning in and I invite you to share this episode with someone else
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00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:10,540
and remind them that there are some things you should never do.
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00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,540
All right.
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It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
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I look forward to talking with you again next time on the Clinician Researcher Podcast.
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00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:25,020
Thank you for listening.
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00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:30,340
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic
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clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they
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have a mentor.
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If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.
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00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:44,980
Someone else needs to hear it.
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00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:49,060
So take a minute right now and share it.
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00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:54,500
As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation
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00:28:54,500 --> 00:29:00,460
of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,860
Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast, where academic clinicians learn the skills
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to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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As clinicians, we spend a decade or more as trainees learning to take care of patients.
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When we finally start our careers, we want to build research programs, but then we find
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that our years of clinical training did not adequately prepare us to lead our research
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program.
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Through no fault of our own, we struggle to find mentors, and when we can't, we quit.
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However, clinicians hold the keys to the greatest research breakthroughs.
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For this reason, the Clinician Researcher podcast exists to give academic clinicians
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the tools to build their own research program, whether or not they have a mentor.
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Now introducing your host, Toyosi Onwuemene.
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Welcome to the Clinician Researcher podcast.
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I'm Toyosi Onwuemene, and it is such a pleasure to be talking with you today.
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Thank you so much for tuning in.
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Today I'm talking about seven things you should never do.
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Seven things you should never do.
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I will say that when I first started my faculty career, I assumed everything was fair game,
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right?
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The end justifies the means.
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You work super hard, you push, push, push hard, and you make sure you do all these things
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so that you can get the prize at the end.
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And one of the things that's challenging is that when you try to define exactly what is
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the prize that you're gunning for, it is so much harder in your faculty role than it was
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really at any point during your career, right?
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And so when you think about your training, medical school, like getting into medical
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school was the goal.
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Very clear goal.
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You're gunning towards it.
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You get in, you know you win.
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And then graduating medical school, that's a goal.
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And getting into residency, that's another goal.
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Getting into a fellowship program, that's another goal.
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Getting a faculty role, that's another goal.
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Well, you have to become a faculty member.
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The goal becomes less and less clear.
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Is it achieve promotion?
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I mean, it's usually not like a clear goal that everyone's gunning for.
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It could be one.
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When you look at it, there's so many things that you could accomplish as a faculty member
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that there are many goals you could set.
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You could set, you know, be the best master clinician, for example.
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Or you could decide that you're going to get, you know, the biggest research grants.
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And one of the challenges with that is that, you know, the goalpost keeps moving.
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Congratulations, you got your K, what about your R?
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Oh, congratulations, you have your R. What about your next R?
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Oh, congratulations, you have only one R. What about, you know, three R's?
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Oh, congratulations, now you've got three R's, what about the U?
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So there's always the next thing and the next thing and the next thing such that there's
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not really one big goal that you're accomplishing where it feels like, okay, you're now done.
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Congratulations, you've accomplished Nirvana as a faculty member.
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And that's why the reason is that the journey is so much more important.
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Actually, the journey has always been important throughout your training.
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But even more so as a faculty member where there's not one big goal, the journey matters
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a lot.
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And so the whole idea of the end justifying the means is a little bit false because it's
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like, so what end exactly are you gunning for?
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And it's important to recognize the journey.
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So in the spirit of that, there are some things that you don't do because you realize that
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you want to live a holistic life.
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When you live a holistic life, you want to have an experience that you can look back
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on and enjoy and appreciate and say, well, you know, this was a life well lived.
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I made good contributions and I, you know, was true to myself and true to my values in
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the process.
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And that's why I think there are some things that we should never do.
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I'm going to talk about seven of them.
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Okay.
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So number one is never, never, never, never worry about the future.
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Okay.
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Now, this is one of those where it's like, what do you mean?
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We're always worrying about the future.
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And I agree, it's a cultural thing.
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If you're an academician, you're always worrying about the future.
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When am I going to get this grant funded?
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When is the money going to come through?
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When are they going to review it?
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Am I ever going to get funded?
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What's going to happen if things don't work out?
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What's going to happen if I can't fund my research?
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How am I going to move forward?
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There's so many things that we could worry about.
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And at the end of the day, we have no control over the future.
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What we do have control over is the way we show up in the present.
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But here's a challenge about worrying about the future is that we go into the future to
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worry and then we become absent from the present in which we can actually make a difference.
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So while I have no control over whether they will fund my grant that I submitted last year,
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what I do have control over is how I prepare to submit the next grant or how I move forward
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in a different way, which continues to increase the chances that I continue to be funded.
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I have control over that.
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But when I'm absent from the present all the way in the future, worrying about something
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over which I have no control, fretting, being anxious, nervous, stressed, and I'm not here
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in the presence, in the present, making the difference that I can make to affect the future.
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And so the end result of that is that the uncertain future I don't want, I'm actually
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creating that by being absent from my present.
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And it's the same with that really in everything in life.
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It's not just about grant funding.
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The more I worry about the future, will funding be cut?
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Will there be any money?
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Will this institute go away?
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Will my research die?
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All those activities that go to the future to worry and then allow you to become absent
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from actually making the difference in the present.
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All of them, all of them.
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Will my child make it to college?
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Will my child be potty trained?
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What will happen when my parents become 80 years old?
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All of those things are in the bucket of things you should never do.
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And I say that recognizing that we're always doing that.
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We're always worrying.
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We're always anxious.
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We're always afraid.
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And to be honest, it's kind of popular to do that.
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You gather in a room and people are talking about what's going to happen tomorrow.
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We don't know.
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And this might happen.
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And I have to say that it is a discipline that I'm working really hard to practice of
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being absent from those scenarios where people focus so much on the future.
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They're so paralyzed and anxious and worried and afraid.
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They cannot be present in the present.
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And so I want to invite you to think about your present and ask yourself, in what ways
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am I moving forward to the future and being absent from the present where I can really
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make a difference?
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In what ways am I allowing my fear of the future to hinder my activity, my action in
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the present?
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I want to invite you to work towards the discipline of not allowing the future to interfere with
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today.
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Okay?
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That's number one.
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Never, never, never, never worry about the future.
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Along the same vein is number two.
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Never worry about the past.
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Okay.
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This one may actually truly be worse than worrying about the future because, you know,
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it's like you're going forward into a future you don't know.
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You're making up disaster that has not yet existed.
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And so doing the work that you need to do to move forward, but in regretting the past,
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wow, that's like a double whammy because you've already lived and maybe you've done something
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wrong or something hasn't worked out.
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You missed the deadline of a really important grant that maybe would have allowed you to
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be funded six months from now.
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And now you're like, I'm scrambling.
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I have no funding.
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And so now you're spending a lot of time in the past, but you already, it's already done.
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You have no control over going and undoing it.
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You can't do that.
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But here you are spending so much time beating yourself up over what you did instead of showing
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yourself compassion, forgiving yourself and moving forward.
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And so I think regretting the past actually is worse than going forward to the future.
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Actually, to be honest, I think they're both equally bad because they rob you of today.
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They rob you of your ability to make an investment in the present right this moment.
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They rob you of your agency to act and make a difference.
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You can't go to the past and undo it.
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You can't change your experience with a mentor.
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You cannot change the way you responded to something.
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You wish you had only written a grant a different way, or maybe you wish you'd never in the
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grant at all.
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None of that helps you in moving forward.
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What does help you is to make a plan and to move forward in the present.
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Similarly to worrying about the future, worrying about the past, regretting the past is a waste
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of time.
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It's a waste of your time and it drains your energy and it keeps you from showing up today
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so that what you're doing when you go back to regret the past so that you're setting
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yourself up for this never ending cycle of regretting the past, right?
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As long as you're regretting the past, you're always going to be in the past, never really
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making progress towards the future so that you'll always have something to regret, right?
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You spend all the time regretting the past.
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What you're doing is you're creating a ladder of regrets that you will never be able to
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fix until you decide that you can let go of the past and you're going to focus on the
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agency that you have and applying that to the present to change the future, to make
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the future different, to make different decisions than decisions that you've made in the past.
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So number two thing to never do is never regret the past.
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Instead acknowledge the past, take a few minutes to mourn the past and the challenges you've
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had or the regrets that you've had and then advance, advance by investing in today.
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All right.
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That's number two, never regret the past.
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Number three is never wonder why, never wonder why.
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What does that mean?
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Hmm.
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I wonder why the reviewer did blah, blah, blah.
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I wonder why they didn't move me to this particular study section.
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I wonder why they didn't fund me.
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I wonder why that manuscript was not accepted.
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Now I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention to, okay, how do I do things differently?
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It's different from wondering why.
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Wondering why is why you spend so much time reminiscing and trying to put your head in
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somebody else's head to say, okay, this must be why they hated my grant.
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It's because I'm a woman.
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Oh no, it's because disparities are, I mean, this person must, this study section must
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be racist, therefore they don't believe in my work.
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Those are all things that you just don't know.
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You don't know.
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And you know, I have to tell you that I've done this so much.
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This is why I say never do it because now I've done it.
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Now I feel like nobody should do it, right?
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But I spend so much time making up a story as to why something didn't work out.
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And I don't know.
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I really don't know.
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And it really takes grace and humility to come to a point where you're like, wait a
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minute, I don't know why.
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I don't know why they didn't fund me.
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Yes, I know the reviewer listed these five points.
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I don't know.
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And it doesn't help to try to wonder or make up a reason or imagine a big bad reason why
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they couldn't fund me.
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But what I can do is to say, hmm, how can I find out?
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So if you have the review before you, okay, take it at face value.
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Seek solicit help from other people.
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You're soliciting help not to imagine why, but to say, what do I do right now to address
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these comments so that this grant is fundable?
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What do I do right now to strengthen this project?
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What do I do right now to address the issues that make the project seem weak or not effective?
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Right?
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So you have power over the things you know.
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You don't have power over the things you don't know.
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And investing time and wondering why is another thing that steals your time.
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What could you do instead?
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Instead, you could get the information you need.
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If you're like, I wonder why this grant didn't receive a higher priority score.
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Guess who can tell you?
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The program officer who may or may not have attended the study section may be able to
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tell you.
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And maybe they can't tell you.
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They weren't there and they can just read the summary statement with you and say, well,
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this is what typically happens, right?
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But somebody can give you insight.
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Ask that person.
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And if they can't give you insight, sometimes I've been to a meeting with a program officer
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who cannot tell me why nobody decided to move forward to the grant.
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Right?
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They could just read the study summary statement, same as I have.
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Just take whatever information you have and use that and where you have a gap in knowledge,
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seek to expand or seek to fill that gap.
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Fill the gap with knowledge to the best of your ability.
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Don't fill it with conjecture.
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Don't imagine.
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Don't join anybody to imagine things.
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Don't let somebody tell you, yeah, that's what happened.
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Three years ago, they decided that no one was going to get funded from my university.
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Therefore, don't do that.
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Get the information you need and act on the information you need.
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If you don't have the information and you can't get it, then you just don't know.
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And it takes a lot of humility and grace to say, I don't know.
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And it is more powerful to say, I don't know.
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And this is what I know.
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And this is what I'm going to move forward in because this is what I know.
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So don't spend time wondering why.
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Get the information you need and move forward.
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Number four thing you should never do.
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Oh, my goodness.
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Never argue.
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Never argue.
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OK, I just want to put in a plug for arguing right now.
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I told you never argue.
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And I just want to tell you why it's so sweet to argue from my perspective.
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It feels so good to be right.
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Oh, my goodness.
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It feels so good to be right.
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And next to being right, it feels so good to work hard to convince others that you are
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right.
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Actually, to be honest, it's not even about others.
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It's about me.
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I want to look good.
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I want to be right.
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So sometimes it doesn't matter what I'm being right about.
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I just want to be right.
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And that's the problem with arguments.
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The problem with arguments is that there is no real goal that's actually a useful goal
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other than winning.
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And you might argue that being able to say I told you so is the best.
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Yeah, it does feel good, doesn't it?
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However, the problem with arguing is that it really wastes time.
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It drains you.
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At the end, you win, but you don't really win because you feel slimy inside.
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You feel dirty, and you know what, it doesn't help whatever relationship you're in.
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What does argument give you?
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It gives you a self-satisfying, a self-satisfied, smug feeling, but it leaves you feeling empty
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and it hurts relationships.
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That's what it does.
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And at the end of argument or at the bottom of arguing is proving your point.
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Then you have to ask yourself what is the point of proving your point other than being
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right?
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Does it move you forward?
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No.
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Does it allow you to make a difference?
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No.
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Does it allow you to move that grant forward towards funding?
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No.
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What you really want is information.
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You want advice.
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You want strategy.
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You want knowledge.
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There are very, very few things that you need that actually move you forward.
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And so when you're spending time arguing a point because you want to win, then what you're
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not doing is getting the information you need to move forward.
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It takes a long time to argue.
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And if you're arguing with someone else who's good at arguing, and to be honest, most of
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us in medicine are excellent at arguing, and you take the same point, the same information,
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the same timeframe, and we can argue different points and argue successfully.
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It takes a long time to do that, and it takes less time.
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And it's a real investment to take the information that that person has, which you don't have
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yet, or the perspective that that person has is clearly different from yours, and to see
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how can I incorporate it into my project.
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And the reality is what I realize now, especially with reviewers, is that no matter how wrong
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they are from your perspective, they have information that you need.
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When somebody says, I can't believe that this person is applying for a grant.
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She doesn't even have a degree.
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And you're like, wait a minute, how can this reviewer think I don't have a degree?
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And you're angry.
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And you're like, this is a ridiculous reviewer, and all of that.
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And what they're really telling you is that it wasn't explicit.
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It was something they didn't see.
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But it's right there in the biosketch.
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I have a degree.
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And what it helps you do is recognize that, okay, well, this person didn't see it for
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whatever reason.
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How do I highlight the fact that I have a degree in this area so the next reviewer knows
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that I do have a degree?
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And so there is information in the differing perspective.
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And it allows you to pivot and flex and say, okay, well, how can I do this differently?
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How can I present this information in such a way that whatever was missed is no longer
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missed?
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Arguing over the sanity of the reviewer, whether the reviewer can read, whether they had a
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third grade education, I mean, it makes you feel good, but it doesn't move your work forward.
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And so I want to invite you to think about the discipline of accepting the present as
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is, believing people when they present who they are and the information they present
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to you and moving forward.
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Never argue because it's such a time weaster.
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And at the end, the prize is hollow.
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Okay, that's number four.
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Number five, this one may be controversial.
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I'm going to say never work with someone you don't like.
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Never work with someone you don't like.
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Now, you can argue whether there should be anybody in your life that you don't like.
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I would say in the perfect world, you like everybody because you're so good at getting
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along with everybody.
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You're so mature.
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You're so good.
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And in reality, there's some people you don't get along with.
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And it could be a number of reasons.
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It could just be that you don't even know why you don't like them.
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It could be that whenever they speak, it gets on your nerves.
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It could be that you always feel like they're trying to control the outcome.
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It could be that you never feel respected by them.
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But it's important that no matter what it is, you really consider, do I want to work
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with this person?
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Not do I have to.
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Do I want to?
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And if the answer is no, then figure out how you can not work with them.
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Better yet, figure out how you can work with someone else.
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Why is that important?
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It's important because the work we do is so hard.
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It is hard.
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And what you always want to do is to be pushing in a direction that changes your experience.
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You always want to be pushing in a direction that moves you forward.
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When you spend a lot of time massaging egos, or you spend a lot of time trying to convince
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people who will never be invincible, you spend a lot of time trying to impress people who
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can never be impressed.
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That's energy that you're not putting into moving your projects forward.
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That's energy instead that you're putting into fighting with a person.
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And it is not satisfying.
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It is a waste, total, total, total waste of time.
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And so to the extent to which you can, don't work with people you don't like.
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Don't say, oh, this is the only mentor in the whole university.
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I have to work with him.
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Oh, do not take that energy and try to move any work forward because it does not move
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work forward.
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It frustrates you.
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It makes you mad.
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It makes you angry.
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Maybe you've been working with this person for a while and now you're like, you know
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what?
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I really, I really don't like this person.
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The more I work with them, the more I don't want to work with them.
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It's okay.
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Everything is changeable.
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They are not the only mentor in the universe.
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Yes, they may be the only person in your division who has the three R01s that looks good on
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your application.
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But who else can help you?
379
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And maybe they're not in your division.
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Only your greater health system or your greater academic medical center can help you.
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And even looking beyond the academic medical center, I've had people who've been successful
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with mentors outside the institution.
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How do you create your experience such that you only work with people who will move you
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forward?
385
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And again, it's not them, it's you, right?
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The challenge is if you don't like someone, it's not because of them, it's because of
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you.
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It's because there's something inside you that's triggered by them.
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And sometimes we think they're the problem, but you actually are.
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And so if you don't like someone, you have to decide, do I want to do the work that changes
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me so that I can continue to work with this person?
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Or do I want to invest the time doing something different that helps my project move forward?
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It's a choice that we make.
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But you can either decide to change yourself so that you start to work towards liking this
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person genuinely, or you don't make that change and you say, I only want to work with people
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I actually like.
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But at the end of the day, don't lie to yourself.
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Don't make yourself do something you don't want to do, not in the way of working with
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people, because the energy drain is energy that can be put into your projects.
400
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So don't work with people you don't like.
401
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:26,120
Yeah, I venture to say never work with people you don't like.
402
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:32,220
Change how you feel or change your working environment.
403
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Okay?
404
00:22:33,220 --> 00:22:34,220
Okay.
405
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Number six is never leave it up to someone else.
406
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Don't do it.
407
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Don't leave it up to someone else.
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Many times I hear faculty say, well, we'll see what they want.
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Let's see what they want.
410
00:22:45,460 --> 00:22:48,980
And at the end of the day, please don't let's see what they want, because here's the thing
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about what other people want.
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It is always changing.
413
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And it's not subject to you.
414
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You're not in charge of what people want.
415
00:22:57,940 --> 00:22:59,940
You are in charge of what you want.
416
00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:04,060
And even that is hard to be in charge of because you don't know what you want.
417
00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:07,340
And many times you're frankly always changing.
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And so that's you.
419
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And you struggle to be in charge of what you want.
420
00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:16,380
And then imagine trying to flex to what other people want.
421
00:23:16,380 --> 00:23:18,140
You don't know when it's going to change.
422
00:23:18,140 --> 00:23:20,020
You don't know why it's going to change.
423
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:25,420
And so frustrating to work towards something that somebody else wants at the expense of
424
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:26,420
what you want.
425
00:23:26,420 --> 00:23:29,060
And then here's the challenge.
426
00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:31,100
You may have already experienced it.
427
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:39,020
You work so hard to meet the needs of someone else or meet their expectations.
428
00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:42,500
And then they change or you meet it and then they're like, yeah, that's not what I wanted
429
00:23:42,500 --> 00:23:44,900
or and this still sucks.
430
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:49,740
And then you feel frustrated and angry because you invested all this time and energy to please
431
00:23:49,740 --> 00:23:52,460
someone and it didn't work out.
432
00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:54,400
That's you leaning up to someone else.
433
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,540
Your career does not belong to anyone else.
434
00:23:56,540 --> 00:23:58,780
Doesn't belong to your mentor.
435
00:23:58,780 --> 00:24:03,220
They will not experience the consequences of a career that's not satisfying to you.
436
00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,300
You will.
437
00:24:04,300 --> 00:24:09,660
They will not experience the consequences of a career that left you leaving your family
438
00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,740
or your significant other high and dry.
439
00:24:11,740 --> 00:24:13,340
Like I was trying to make my mentor happy.
440
00:24:13,340 --> 00:24:14,740
No, no, no.
441
00:24:14,740 --> 00:24:18,660
That's why I didn't, you know, invest more time in my relationship with my spouse.
442
00:24:18,660 --> 00:24:20,580
Never leave it up to someone else.
443
00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:22,660
You are in control.
444
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:25,420
You are the writer of your story.
445
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,980
You're the author and you're the programmer.
446
00:24:27,980 --> 00:24:30,940
If you don't program, things don't go forward.
447
00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:31,940
Don't say, oh, they're going to do it.
448
00:24:31,940 --> 00:24:33,260
They're going to look out for me.
449
00:24:33,260 --> 00:24:34,260
They're going to help me.
450
00:24:34,260 --> 00:24:35,620
I'm not saying that they're not.
451
00:24:35,620 --> 00:24:37,100
I hope they do.
452
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:41,740
But even if they don't, you can control what you do.
453
00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:43,820
You can control your experience.
454
00:24:43,820 --> 00:24:47,340
And even then, you struggle to control your own experience.
455
00:24:47,340 --> 00:24:52,300
Imagine now trying to control somebody else's perception of your experience.
456
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:53,820
Never leave it up to someone else.
457
00:24:53,820 --> 00:25:01,860
It is a recipe for failure and frustration and anger and a lot of failed relationships
458
00:25:01,860 --> 00:25:04,740
and failed experiences.
459
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:06,220
Take charge.
460
00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:11,020
Instead of leaving it up to someone else, ask yourself, what do I want to accomplish?
461
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:12,020
Why?
462
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:14,180
And then work.
463
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:15,180
Work towards that.
464
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:22,180
And number seven, never work hard towards things that are unproductive.
465
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:23,520
Never do that.
466
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,300
This one may be the most challenging of the seven because as physicians, we are good at
467
00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:29,300
working hard.
468
00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:30,940
Oh, are we good at working hard?
469
00:25:30,940 --> 00:25:32,860
It doesn't even matter what we're working hard at.
470
00:25:32,860 --> 00:25:34,460
We're just good at it.
471
00:25:34,460 --> 00:25:37,540
Let's work hard at getting this prior authorization approved.
472
00:25:37,540 --> 00:25:38,700
Oh, yes.
473
00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:43,340
And three hours later, you are still arguing and arguing and seeing your way all the way
474
00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:44,340
to the top.
475
00:25:44,340 --> 00:25:46,940
And you're like, yes, I did it.
476
00:25:46,940 --> 00:25:50,180
Six hours later, medication approved.
477
00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,220
I'm not saying you should fight for your patients.
478
00:25:52,220 --> 00:25:54,260
I'm not saying you shouldn't advocate for them.
479
00:25:54,260 --> 00:26:00,780
But I'm saying if something is unproductive, if at the end of six hours of working really
480
00:26:00,780 --> 00:26:08,260
hard, you can't really significantly measure change that improves your experience or improves
481
00:26:08,260 --> 00:26:10,540
the change that you came to make.
482
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:14,940
You have to ask yourself if that's the right thing to work hard at.
483
00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:19,300
The thing about prior authorization is very important is that you will always have another
484
00:26:19,300 --> 00:26:20,300
one to do.
485
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:23,180
It's like, great, you got this medication for this patient.
486
00:26:23,180 --> 00:26:24,180
Congratulations.
487
00:26:24,180 --> 00:26:28,140
Six years of your life or six hours, feels like six years.
488
00:26:28,140 --> 00:26:29,460
And then there's the next one.
489
00:26:29,460 --> 00:26:35,380
And in reality, there are other people who have the time and the experience and maybe
490
00:26:35,380 --> 00:26:39,860
a little more strategy than you to do that maybe more efficiently.
491
00:26:39,860 --> 00:26:43,860
And in the meantime, you've been working hard at being productive at a thing that somebody
492
00:26:43,860 --> 00:26:46,700
else could have been productive at and more efficiently.
493
00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:50,820
What you've done is you've left the things that only you can be productive at.
494
00:26:50,820 --> 00:26:52,820
Total waste of time.
495
00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:55,900
But we love the high of accomplishment.
496
00:26:55,900 --> 00:27:00,740
And sometimes we don't ask ourselves, is this the right thing to be productive in?
497
00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:03,660
Is this something I want to be accomplished in at the end?
498
00:27:03,660 --> 00:27:10,140
Yes, I may be really, really good at editing, but who can do it for me?
499
00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:15,700
I may be really, really, really, really good at creating figures that are really nice and
500
00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:18,660
pretty, but is this what I should be investing my time in?
501
00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:23,780
Should I become really good or should I draft something and have somebody else just put
502
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:26,180
the finishing touches to it?
503
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,200
Choose what you're productive at.
504
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,460
Never work hard at something that's unproductive.
505
00:27:31,460 --> 00:27:35,020
And this may be one of the hard ones that's hard to undo because as physicians, we just
506
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:39,620
go to working hard, even when we shouldn't be working hard in that area.
507
00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:42,100
So I just said seven things.
508
00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:43,740
Seven things you should never do.
509
00:27:43,740 --> 00:27:44,980
Number one, worry about the future.
510
00:27:44,980 --> 00:27:46,620
Number two, regret the past.
511
00:27:46,620 --> 00:27:47,900
Number three, wonder why.
512
00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:48,900
Number four, argue.
513
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:51,220
Number five, work with people you don't like.
514
00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:52,740
Number six, leave it up to someone else.
515
00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:57,640
And number seven, work hard at things that are unproductive.
516
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,220
As always, it is such a pleasure to talk with you today.
517
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:05,220
Thank you so much for tuning in and I invite you to share this episode with someone else
518
00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:10,540
and remind them that there are some things you should never do.
519
00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,540
All right.
520
00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:12,660
It's been a pleasure talking with you today.
521
00:28:12,660 --> 00:28:19,820
I look forward to talking with you again next time on the Clinician Researcher Podcast.
522
00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:25,020
Thank you for listening.
523
00:28:25,020 --> 00:28:30,340
Thanks for listening to this episode of the Clinician Researcher Podcast where academic
524
00:28:30,340 --> 00:28:35,820
clinicians learn the skills to build their own research program, whether or not they
525
00:28:35,820 --> 00:28:37,140
have a mentor.
526
00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:43,260
If you found the information in this episode to be helpful, don't keep it all to yourself.
527
00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:44,980
Someone else needs to hear it.
528
00:28:44,980 --> 00:28:49,060
So take a minute right now and share it.
529
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:54,500
As you share this episode, you become part of our mission to help launch a new generation
530
00:28:54,500 --> 00:29:00,460
of clinician researchers who make transformative discoveries that change the way we do healthcare.
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